Alchemist. In Orlando, Fla., facing a forgery charge for boosting a check, Clarence Hickey, 25, pleaded magic, explained that a fortune teller had sprinkled a pile of white powder on the check which instantly increased its worth from $3.25 to $40.25.

Sour Masher? In Irvington, N.J., Mrs.

Elsie Bodewaldt, 44, filed an assault and battery charge against Liquor Store Operator Carl H. Heidorn, claimed he squeezed her right hand and sprained it when he gave her change after a purchase.

Inside Job. In Richland Center, Wis., haled into court for stealing his brother-in-law's car, Melvin Vest, 21, got a one-to-five-year sentence, explained to the judge: "I thought my sister deserved to have a new car, and I figured if I stole the old one, they could buy a new one with the insurance money." One-Way Traffic. In Nanaimo, B.C., after he was fined $10 for drunkenness when police found him carrying on a one-sided conversation with a shapely store-window mannequin, Logger Lome Curtis explained that he was not trying to pick up the girl: he merely wanted to buy a boat ticket to Vancouver.

Curb Service. In Frankfurt, Germany, after police let it be known that a recently stolen auto belonged to Judge Johannes Kuwatsch, his car appeared in his driveway two days later freshly waxed and gleaming.

Occupational Hazard. In Wauwatosa, Wis., surprised by police as he crept about in the offices of the State Washed Sand and Gravel Co., James Freeman, 19, was arrested on a burglary charge, taken out to a squad car where he fainted when reinforcements arrived.

Numismatist. In McKeesport, Pa., searched by the cops who nabbed him as he fled from the premises of the Tube City Lumber Co. with $5.20 in change stuffed and jingling in his shoes, Herbert W. Gailey, 33, explained: "I save dimes." Surprise! Near Warren, Ohio, after her husband bought an 1,800-lb. elephant to give her "something different" for her birthday, Mrs. Orla Drum proudly said that it was just what she wanted, planned to put it with the other animals in the zoo she keeps on her farm.

Advance Scout. In Indianapolis, Harley J. Driskell got 60 days in jail and a $77.75 fine after he sat in his car off a highway, held up a sign that warned passing motorists of a radar speed trap ahead, ran into a cop who approached to flush him from his post.

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