Pleasure Principle. In Manhattan, Alexander Johnson, 39, carrying a bag of duck eggs home on the subway as a treat for his wife, spied Salesgirl Adrienne Ardizone, 20, sitting opposite in a freshly starched dress, calmly pelted her with raw eggs, said later that he just couldn't explain why he did it.

Cheaper by the Dozen. In Dallas, after the Times Herald quoted Mrs. Clara Margerum as saying she wanted to rent a house for a reunion with her twelve children, she received 93 offers, one a proposal of marriage from a suitor who wanted to claim her children as income tax exemptions.

Honk, Plonk. In Casteldaccia, Sicily, police had to rescue Bus Driver Paolo Alliotta, 33, from a mob of townsmen, who stoned him because he blew his horn to clear traffic, awoke them from their sidewalk naps.

Off the Meter. In Toledo, after he was picked up by Policemen Michael Donoher and Calvin Parton for speeding a taxi through several red lights, James O'Reilly admitted the cab was not his explained he tried to hail one, spotted an empty cab with its motor running, hopped in, headed for his destination.

Dropshot. In Washington, while helicopting three soldier-patients from Fort Lee, Va. to Walter Reed Hospital, Chief Warrant Officer Willie H. Windham lost his bearings, set down on a city tennis court, asked directions from startled players, whirled on his way without ever awakening his passengers.

Neither Snow Nor Rain. In Gulfport, Miss., the postman correctly delivered to J. R. and T. S. Glower a letter from Waco, Texas addressed: "Downtown Furniture Store Run by Two Brothers who Look Alike, Across Street from Dime Store, Appliance Store at One End of Street, Dry Goods Store at Other."

Wholesale. In Tucson, Ariz., police looked for the customer who priced Gilbert Grenier's watermelons, commented, "Too high--I'll come back later and get them cheaper," did so after hours and made off with a ton of melons.

Break, Break, Break. In Los Angeles, Lillian C. Armstrong, 45, won a divorce from retired Petty Officer Joseph S. Armstrong, 48, after she testified: "He broke my arm, then broke his promise never to hurt me again, by breaking my ankle."

No Tipping, Please. In Wolverine, Mich., when Daniel Bullman parked his tractor-trailer on a hill and went into the Wolverine Hotel for a snack, the truck rolled downhill, crashed six feet into the lobby, added $1,100 to the tab.

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