Sage at Play

NIGHTMARES OF EMINENT PERSONS AND OTHER STORIES (177 pp.)--Bertrand Russell--Simon & Schuster ($3).

In recent years Philosopher Bertrand Russell has taken to fiction, but fiction has not yet taken to Philosopher Russell. The reason is that when logicians with a sense of humor start toying with storytelling, their mighty brains behave like dancing elephants playing dancing mice. The fiction they write is more sophisticated than nursery rhymes but every bit as childish: only once in a blue moon does a logician like Lewis Carroll come along and succeed in transforming the kindergarten into Wonderland.

Each of the ten imaginary nightmares in Russell's new collection is a cute little fantasy, as impish as it is artless. Each turns around a point of topical interest and displays a sense of humor which even Punch might blanch at. Samples:

P: Mr. Bowdler's Nightmare might have plagued the real Mr. Bowdler, a pious Georgian gentleman who spent a number of years trying to out the damned spots from Shakespeare's works by expurgating the dirty words. Mr. Bowdler dreams that his wife, as a result of never having been allowed to see any dirty words, tries to imagine them instead, and starts giving the most obscene interpretations to the most innocent remarks. Author Russell's novel moral: Never brush the dirt under the carpet; the little woman is sure to stumble on it.

P: The Psychoanalyst's Nightmare is fun with Freud. Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear, Othello, Antony and Romeo are psychoanalyzed by Dr. Bombasticus, end up as respectable Rotarians deeply ashamed of their "adolescent" behavior in Shakespeare's plays. "[The doctor] showed me," says Romeo, "that my real motivation was rebellion against the father . . . enabled me to become a staid and worthy upholder of the honor of the Montagues." Says Hamlet: "Dr. Bombasticus persuaded me that I was very young and had no understanding of statecraft. I apologized to my mother for any rude things I might have said." Moral: An ounce of poetry is worth a tome of Freud.

P: The Queen of Sheba's Nightmare is a worldly-wise little story in which the Queen is persuaded by Satan that the rapturous "Song" that King Solomon has just sung to her is the same one he has sung to every other woman. This fable of woman's mingled love and suspicion of flattery makes one wish that Author Russell's artistic powers were up to the standard of his intelligence. The moral (for ladies only): Better be fooled by a man than put wise by the Devil.

P: Eisenhower's Nightmare is a jocular example of Author Russell's lifelong habit of studying the political scene through a blind eye. Eisenhower dreams that Senator McCarthy and Georgy Malenkov come to power and divide the world between them: the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. settle down into mutually happy totalitarianism. Moral (for Author Russell only): Never jump to conclusions on clay feet.

Russell rounds off Nightmares with two longish fantasies about the future of the world. They predict plenty of heavy going during the next 4,000 years, and as fiction they read like their prediction.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.