Housemaid's Spree. In Paterson, N.J., found lying in her bedroom closet after four days' search, Housemaid Dorothy Cureton, 27, explained to her startled employers that she was merely recovering from the effects of drinking a fifth and several pints of whisky plus two pints of rubbing alcohol, one pint of witch hazel.

Limited Liability. In North Sacramento, Calif., Judge J. Louis Missall acquitted Adolph John Machold of a charge of throwing a banana peel out of a car, commented: "Of all the things which are thrown out on the highway, a banana peel is probably among the least offensive."

Aptitude Test. In Chicago, heavyhanded Burglar Walter Pernal climbed an outside apartment-house stairway in broad daylight, smashed a window with such a resounding crash that an upstairs tenant phoned police, drank so much liquor in the apartment that he was helpless to resist arrest.

Full Circle. In Atlantic City, after Police Chief Jerry Sullivan ordered a stepped-up campaign against overtime parkers, Mayor Joseph Altman got three tickets. City Commissioner Jack O'Donnell got one, and Patrolman Thomas Kearney returned home from eight hours of ticketing other cars to find his own tagged.

Mumble Pie. In Baltimore, after they discovered that the microphone in their meeting room at the Southern Hotel was dead, members of a symposium on "Generating Electric Current" at the Convention of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers adjourned to the Lord Baltimore Hotel, found the microphones were dead there, too, finally resorted to old-fashioned lung power.

Give & Take. In South Zanesville, Ohio, burglars cracked the safe at Bob's Supermarket, took $700, rifled through a bunch of papers, obligingly sorted out a burglary-insurance policy and left it on top of the heap.

Airtight Case. In Reno, acting as his own attorney, Ex-Convict Thomas Mitchell argued successfully in district court that he was obviously not the man who tried to batter open an automobile-agency safe, because an old pro like himself could have done the job neatly and quietly in 20 minutes.

Interpretative Reporting. In Sacramento, angry Motorist Ernest M. Blackburn was hauled off to jail after he refused to sign the traffic citation he received for driving too slowly unless Traffic Officer Ernest Jasper agreed to prefix his own signature with "Eager Beaver."

Fundamentalist. In Denver, asked the secret for a long life. Carl W. Baker, 98, replied: "Just keep breathing."

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