Right of Way. Near Peru, Ind., Charles Windoffer was arrested for drunken driving after he mistook the Chesapeake and Ohio tracks for the road to his home, forced an oncoming train to stop, then bawled out the engineer for not dimming his lights.

Package Deal. In Atlanta, the Jack Salmon (Realty) Co. advertised in the Constitution: "Beautiful Estate . . . Astounding Value, including two wonderful maids and other interesting features . . . can be seen any time . . ."

A Votre Sante. In Dijon, France, to provide American tourists with a substitute for ice water, the Terminus Hotel installed a new piping system, in each bathroom provided two additional faucets, one for white wine, one for red.

Shortchanged. In Miami, three nights after he robbed Mack's Liquor Store of $46, a holdup man returned, pointed a pistol at Proprietor Herman Mack, told him: "I read in the papers where I got $600 ... I came back for the rest," made off with $115.

Honeymoon. In Chicago, seeking annulment of her marriage, Mrs. Patricia Kolarik testified that her husband Louis kissed her on their wedding day in May, had never kissed her since.

Tactical Withdrawal. In Kansas City, Mo., arrested after leading eleven police cars on a 17-mile, 100-m.p.h. chase through the city and suburbs, Motorist Donald C. Mangus told the judge: "I thought the siren was an ambulance's and I was just trying to get out of the way," got a $325 fine and 60 days in jail.

The Scholar. In East Orrington, Me., 22 years after he failed to graduate from Brewer High School because he had not written an assigned book report, Avery D. Olmstead Jr., 40, turned 'in the essay, got his diploma.

Transfer. In Paris, Optatus Bastet, former chief bursar of the De la Sante Prison, wound up in a cell after officials discovered that he had taken 1,200,000 francs ($3,428), from the prison safe for "travel expenses."

Late for Dinner. In Los Angeles, seeking a divorce, Mrs. Honor Landier testified that her husband Felicien called from the office one night in 1943, told her he would be working late, has not yet come home.

The Record. In London, police finally caught up with Peter Keane, 25, charged him with 1) turning in 118 false alarms,

2) sending 200 taxis on phony errands,

3) taking 300-odd letters from private mailboxes, 4) committing some 130 additional crimes.

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