Next Case, Please. In El Cajon, Calif., on trial for burglary, Theodore Watts interrupted his attorney's arguments, told the judge: "Let's stop this farce. I'm guilty and should be sent to jail."

Politics as Usual. In Hiland Park, Fla., 282 people went to the polls, elected C. T. Hartzog mayor, four other citizens as town commissioners, then voted down a proposal to incorporate the community, thereby leaving the newly elected officials without a town to govern.

Road Test. In Prince George, Va., nabbed for speeding 65 to 80 m.p.h., Johnnie M. Marshall pointed to the woman beside him, confided to police: "I was just trying to frighten my mother-in-law."

Consumer Resistance. Near Santa Rosa, Calif., outraged when Bartender Carl Curtis told them that beer was 25-c- a bottle, four bar patrons decided to walk out, tarried long enough to knock down Curtis, take $25 from the cash register.

Love Me, Love My Boa. In Carlsbad, N. Mex., District Judge C. Roy Anderson recessed the divorce case of Charles and Dale Wright when the couple could not agree on the value of their common stock: two cobras, two boa constrictors, one anaconda, two eagles, one hawk, four Gila monsters, one owl, five donkeys, two chimpanzees, two African lions, two mountain lions, two lynxes, three raccoons, one coyote, one porcupine, one skunk, one South African rattlesnake, and an unspecified number of Southwestern rattlesnakes.

Fresh Start. In Menard, Ill., state prison guards found John Prather Jr., anticipating a parole after serving three years for forgery, busily forging checks and letters of reference.

Professional Handicap. In Asbury Park, N.J., when Wesley T. Moon, boating editor for the Press, failed to show up for work, his editor heard that he was suffering from seasickness.

Revelation. In St. Joseph, Mo., a month after the remodeling of the county courthouse ladies' room, a delegation of women workers gathered to protest that the room's one-way window glass had been installed so that "we can't see out, but everyone can see in."

The Scientific Approach. In Point Mugu, Calif., Chemist John Tabor stepped outside his laboratory door, spotted a 4-ft. rattlesnake poised to strike, reached for a carbon dioxide fire extinguisher, sprayed the snake into a frozen state, then carried it inside and killed it.

Reckoning. In Brighton, England, a magistrate's court ordered John Ayling, 71, to pay off a $602 debt in weekly 8-c- installments.

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