The Governor & the Sergeant

When New York's Governor Dewey went to Seattle's waterfront last week with all his colleagues to greet returning Korea veterans, Sergeant John Scotti of Brooklyn spotted Dewey's convertible, leaned over the door and began to chat:

Dewey: How long have you been in the Army, sergeant?

Scotti: Twelve long years and I'm getting out. Man, governor, I'm leaving this Army. I'm tired of it.

Dewey: What are you going to do?

Scotti: Going to be a civilian.

Dewey: I mean what kind of work?

Scotti: Governor, I'm going to be a civil-service man. You know, feet on the desk, big cigar, big pay.

Dewey: Well, the rest of the time? You can't just work all the time.

Scotti: Governor, you surely know that after lunch I'll just get the scratch sheets. I'll read 'em and I'll play 'em.

Dewey: And how much will you lose?

Scotti: Governor, I lose every time.

Even in Korea, in Pusan, I lost on every race.

Dewey: Horses in Pusan? Why, I was there. I didn't see any horses in Pusan.

Scotti: Why governor, we had big races in Pusan. We just loved Pusan. We spent all our time betting . . .

Dewey: I still don't remember any horse races in Pusan.

Scotti: Oh, governor, we didn't bet on horses. These racers had two legs and carried frames on their backs. Know what I mean?

Dewey: Ha. Honey buckets, a distinctive hallmark of Pusan. I remember . . . I devoted a couple of pages in my book to honey buckets.*

Scotti: Book? What's the name of that book, governor?

Dewey: Journey to the Far Pacific.

Scotti: Governor, I'm going to read that book. Maybe I'll even buy it after I settle down.

Dewey: You could go into politics in New York.

Scotti: Yeah, sure. But what could I run for?

Dewey: Why not for mayor? Everybody else is.

Scotti: Say, you were in Pusan. Did you get to Tokyo?

Dewey: I spent 14 days there.

Scotti: Say, man, how did you make out? Have any fun? Tell me the truth now, that's really a town, hey?

Dewey: Tokyo is a beautiful city.

Scotti: I don't think you know what I mean, governor.

*Containers for human excrement.

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