Liquid Assets. In El Monte, Calif., David Martz, needing cash for the down payment on a new car, drove his old one into a dealer's shop, told the mechanics to remove the gas tank, shake out $820 in half-dollars which he had accumulated in four years by tossing a 50-c- piece into the tank each time he bought gas.

Tribute. In Pfaffenrode, East Germany, citizens quailed under the rebukes of high Communist brass who declared that the town had gone too far in naming its newest building, an insane asylum, after dead Communist Hero Ernst Thaelmann.

Sound & Fury. In Hughesville, Pa., the citizens voted to legalize local drinking after a hard-fought campaign during which the drys rang the town's church bells every hour and Anti-Prohibitionist Richard Schaeffer tooted his sawmill whistle every half hour.

Installment Plan. In Winnipeg, Man., Cashier Louis Wigginton, 31, convicted of stealing $10,074.62 in 18 months from a wholesale firm, returned $2,000, was ordered to pay back the balance at $10 a month over the next 67 1/2 years.

After Due Consideration. In Akron, after denying that he had written worthless checks for $18, Frank Korecky, 30, asked for 20 minutes to "compose" himself, then told police that he had passed $5,000 worth of bad checks, pulled seven burglaries.

Electronic Countermeasures. In Jackson, Miss., highway patrolmen were looking for the motorists suspected of building short-wave radio transmitters to jam the police radar speed detection system.

Cause & Effect. In Oklahoma City, William McCord, 32, pleading guilty to stealing candy from six orphan children, confided: "My trouble is whisky."

Exchange of Pleasantries. In New London, Conn., Julio Recanati, 45, father of twelve, arrested and held for a mental examination after writing a series of love letters (including one of 465 pages) to an unmarried woman, explained: "There never was any serious purpose in my mind ... I thought maybe she'd say 'hello.' "

Embarrassing Subject. In Vicksburg, Miss., Ellis Nasif, owner of the Nasif Beverage Co., reported to police that $12,000 worth of liquor had been stolen from his warehouse in dry Mississippi.

Bread & Butter Note. In New London, Conn., a burglar broke into Bulkeley Junior High School, cooked himself a meal in the home economics room, took $110 from the principal's office, chalked a note on the blackboard: "I'm sorry."

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