Invitation Accepted. In Little Rock, Ark., someone helped himself to $14.20 from the Here Tis drive-in restaurant.

Slim Pickings. In Tokyo, police reporters scanned the records of experienced criminals, found that crime doesn't pay much: burglars earned an average of 14-c- a day, pickpockets and petty thieves, 10-c-.

Collective Security. In Chapel Hill, N.C., Bruce Strowd, who celebrated the wartime victory at Stalingrad by naming Joseph Stalin co-owner of a $25 war bond and mailing it to the Kremlin, was assured by U.S. Treasury officials that the bond had not been cashed and that, in this case, he would not have to furnish the co-owner's death certificate in order to collect the money.

The Fisherman Got Away. In Las Vegas, Nev., Colonel Alfred Lambert Jr. cast his fishing line into Lake Mead, pulled in a new, spun-glass fishing rod with a 2-lb. catfish on its hook.

Teacher. In Morristown, Tenn., a prankster took a police prowl car from outside a restaurant and parked it eight blocks away, explained that he thought cops should be broken of the habit of leaving ignition keys in their cars and he just wanted to "teach them a lesson."

Body & Soul. In Birmingham, Ala., Public Library Director Emily Danton reported that the two library items most often stolen are: 1) calorie charts, and 2) Bibles.

Just Asking. In St. Louis, Leroy Bernhard stopped three burglars making a getaway after holding up a drugstore, demanded an explanation for bumping his parked car, was told to shut up and hand over his wallet.

To Each His Own. In Dallas, Mr. & Mrs. Martin Dolezar got a divorce, then agreed on a disposition of property: the family automobile for her, the washing machine for him.

Hard-Pressed. In Paris, Texas, Patrolman Glenn Parks, investigating the robbery of a dry-cleaning shop in his neighborhood, searched a suspect's house, found two pairs of his own pants.

Lab Work. In Hexham. England, Airmen George Knox and Edward Tanner, who pleaded guilty to breaking into a house and stealing money and goods, were let off when their commanding officer told the court that, as members of an R.A.F. Special Assault Section, they had been trained to break into buildings and capture documents, and it was only fair that a man so taught "might be inclined to put his training to test when he is in drink."

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