Monday, Feb. 02, 1953

Holiday. In Tenafly, N.J., Harold Williams, a daily commuter to New York City, won third prize in a booksellers' contest: a trip to New York City.

This Way In. In Ipswich, England, Peter Sheppard, who complained at being put out of prison in midwinter without a coat, was sent back to jail the same day for stealing one.

There's the Rub. In Arlington, Va., Summerfield McCarteney, 60, told police that a woman had stopped him to ask directions to Falls Church, offered to cure his limp by massaging his back, taken $265 from his wallet.

Blow-Prone. In Birmingham, Caretaker Clifton Truss, who in eight months had been twice conked by a tractor, twice bludgeoned by prowlers, was fired by the park & recreation board because of his "affinity for being hit on the head."

Deaf Ear. In Kansas City, Mo., after trustees sought an injunction barring the Rev. Fred Bruffett from the Gospel Tabernacle on the charge that he and friends had broken in to re-elect him minister, Bruffett huffed: "I have refused to accept a call from the Gospel Tabernacle."

The Bereaved. In the McLeansboro (Ill.) Times-Leader, Mrs. Ebb Hargrave pleaded: "Will the person or persons who took all my hens and left the old rooster come and get him. He is lonesome."

Golden Rule. In Lincoln, Neb., Lewis Mercy mercifully removed Richard Maul's glasses before thumping him on the nose and incurring a $10 fine for assault & battery.

Testimonial. In San Bernardino, Calif., a safecracker who failed to pry open a department-store safe wrote Manager R. N. Creamer that he had never "worked on a better safe," advised: "If I have messed this one up too bad for further use, I urge that you get another one just like it."

Property Right. In Lewes, England, dismissing assault charges against Norman Hyde, who had slugged a fellow pub patron for trying to down his beer, a judge ruled that "drinking another man's beer is the unforgivable sin."

Breath-Taking. In Louisville, the Navy narrowly averted a bookkeeping crisis by enrolling as Bennett (NMI)* Stalard a youth whose real name is Hugh Alexander Morris Gene Saul Ralph Giles Gilbert Motoer Marquis Miles Marion Mayo John Charles James Gordon Bennett Adams Christopher Columbus Elijah Green Eversole Bradley Kincaid Robert Jefferson Breckenridge Stallard.

*Navalese for No Middle Initial.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.