Slippery Situation

There were too many pratfalls in the Pentagon's terrazzo and waxed corridors. The complaints were duly referred through channels to the General Services Administration, Department of Buildings Management. Naturally, the situation called for a survey. That called for special equipment. So the matter was referred to the National Bureau of Standards, Division of Research and Development. There a machine was built, and labeled "Sigler Pendulum Impact Type Slipperiness Tester."

This device, designed to "determine the coefficient of friction which is an index of relative slipperiness," was delivered to the General Services Administration, Department of Buildings Management survey team. The team surveyed. After weeks came a report. Freely translated from the Pentagonese, it said: the floors aren't too slippery at all; people around here are just too careless.

Bureaucracy knew what to do next: the situation obviously called for orientation. So the Safety, Fire Prevention and Protection branch of the Public Buildings Service was called in. After study, it suggested that all chief clerks and administrative officers issue memorandums to employees warning them against unsafe acts. Last week a ten-point program was duly outlined, full of useful advice. Sample (Point Two): "Face in the direction you are walking."

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