Hey, Rube! In Palisades Amusement Park, N J., after he had paid off ten kewpie dolls, four Teddy bears and a set of china to a wondrously successful dart thrower, Concessionaire Joe Weissman investigated, found the marksman's confederate behind the backdrop with a long hatpin.

Boxing the Compass. In Baltimore, after a judge told three brawlers he would dismiss charges if they got out of town, Defendant North went west, Easterly headed south, but Southern paid his fine and stayed.

Careless Love. In Bogota, Colombia, Matilde Ramirez applied for a marriage license and learned that she was already legally married because her ex-fiance, using their previous license to marry another girl, had not bothered to change the names.

Taste Tells. In a San Mateo, Calif, saloon, Steelworker Gus Erickson, who had cigarettes in one pocket and firecrackers in another, absentmindedly reached for a smoke, got the wrong pocket, lit up.

Beef Rollback. In Mount Gambier, Australia, Grandfather George Uphill, 60, attacked by a 900-lb. bull, took it by the horns and broke its neck.

Poor Reception. In Memphis, Tenn., Peggy Roberson won a divorce after telling the court that when she inadvertently blocked her husband's view of the TV screen, he "threw a chair across the room, struck me, pulled me into the bathroom and held my head under water."

Return to Sender. In Newport News, Va., Postmaster Bob Cutler admitted that he was not eligible to play in the Virginia State Amateur Golf Championship: his official entry was postmarked too late,

100% Exemption. In Mount Vernon, Ind., after reading an advertisement offering $10 off the price of a used car for each child of the purchaser, Typesetter Wilfred Clark picked out a $100 Pontiac, marched his ten children past the dealer, drove away with a bill of sale.

The Urban Urge. In Denver, after a new deer enclosure had been built in the city park zoo, a two-year-old buck wandered into town, jumped the seven-foot fence, and joined up.

Mission Accomplished. In Madison, Wis., after cardsharps had clipped him for $48, a wrist watch and a cigarette lighter, Corporal John Ramzy told the judge that he had come to town to check on reports that gamblers were fleecing servicemen.

Operatic Touch. Near Nishnabotna, Mo., Tippler Clarence Carmen was arrested for shooting up a meeting of the local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous.

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