The Coach Is Watching

Since the days of the Czars, the Russians' chief contribution to the Olympic Games has been to send out teams of stony-faced "observers," whose main athletic accomplishment has been the scribbling of voluminous notes on the ways of Western athletes. Last week, after compiling 30 years of paper work, the Russians apparently decided that they had learned enough. Flexing their muscles, they announced that in 1952 Soviet Russia will send a full team to compete in the Olympics for the first time.*

Judging by their few past performances in international competition, the Russian entry seemed sure to provide some enlivening touches to the games. When a pickup U.S. team defeated the Russians in the world weight-lifting championships in 1946, the outraged Russians promptly devised a new scoring system to prove they had actually won. When they triumphantly departed for Moscow, they were carrying a duplicate trophy they had had created for the occasion. Last summer they threatened to withdraw from the European track & field championships over a contested decision in the relay race. And in last winter's tour of Red China, a Russian basketball team won 21 games straight by bringing along their own referee and making up their rules as they went along.

But the Russian decision was not entirely unexpected. Two years ago the Central Committee of the Communist Party (Joseph Stalin, secretary and coach) issued a preparatory order to dutiful Soviet athletes. The order: start winning world championships in all major sports.

-Prompting New York Mirror Columnist Dan Parker to suggest some new Olympic events. Samples: "the heel-and-toe walkout," "the running high dudgeon," "the erroneous conclusion jump," and "hurling the invective."

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