Diversion. In St. Louis, Imaldo R. Simone explained why he had put in two false fire alarms, each bringing four engine companies to the scene: he was "overworked and feeling tired."

Honor System. In Houston, trusting officials of the First National Bank installed unguarded bowls of change marked "Help Yourself Tellers," for people who need coins for parking, soft-drink machines, telephones, reported at the end of a week only 2-c- missing.

Too Much, Too Soon. In Novato, Calif., an official announced that use of water would have to be restricted again next summer, because heavy rains had interrupted work on the city's new reservoir.

Don't Move. In Rangoon, Burma, Fisherman Gung Shai, after being stranded for 15 months on a desert isle in the Indian Ocean, reported that when a boat finally came to his rescue, its crew bemoaned the state of the world, advised him to stay stranded.

Supply & Demand. In Neustift, Austria, Fritz Rambusek, hired to blow the bugle which summons firemen, explained why he had set fire to several buildings: "I liked to blow [the bugle], and didn't have much opportunity otherwise."

Party Manners. In Chicago, Kenneth Harris told police why he realized, as soon as he walked into his father's store, that the place was being held up, although no guns were in sight: he knew there must be something wrong, because his father was so polite.

On the Hoof. In El Paso, Deputy Customs Collector Herman F. Cherry revealed that a surprise inspection at the Juarez bridge turned up: 1) 32 Ibs. of meat inside a spare tire; 2) an 8-lb. beef roast in a woman's purse; 3) a huge, raw, unwrapped round steak being worn as a girdle.

Heavy Take. In Seattle, the Sealth Souvenir Shop reported the theft of its 7-ft., 200-lb. wooden Indian. In Rio de Janeiro, a university student made off with a municipal street car.

Couped Up. In Cleveland, a judge granted Bobbie Lee Robinson, 16, a divorce, after she complained that the only time her husband provided for her was bis automobile.

In a Word. In Telephone, Texas, the Southwestern Bell Telephone Co. announced that it would soon get around to installing the town's first telephone serv-ce. In Great Falls, Mont., Mrs. Frank H. Human won a divorce after testifying that her husband treated her in an "inhuman manner."

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