You Can't Go Home Again. In Amarillo, Texas, onetime Trusty Robert C. Stewart, sent back to Potter County jail from West Virginia, explained why he had failed to come back in August 1949 when a jailer sent him out to get a morning paper: "He didn't tell me what kind of paper to get."

Face Value. In Mason County, Ky., William Bothman was arrested on the charge that he collected $90 for painting Edgar L. Preston's barn, but painted only the side facing Preston's home.

Grand Slam. In Cleveland, Prisoner Adam J. Taylor, awaiting sentence for unarmed robbery, was informed by telegram that his name had been called for a $1,000 bank-night prize at Union Square Theater and if he would show up the following week he would receive a $10 consolation prize.

The Breaks. In Fort Worth, Texas, two men going from store to store looking for work as window repairmen were arrested by policemen going from store to store investigating an epidemic of broken windows.

Intimations of Mortality. In Santa Fe, N. Mex., Louis Giannini admitted sending Mrs. Pete Mateucci a postcard reading "You are going to be a widow before long, so make plans accordingly," but insisted that he had "merely intended it as a word of advice to take out more life insurance."

Naturals. In Minneapolis, police arrested Henry Bad Boy for being drunk & disorderly. In Delphos, Ohio, the Delphos Herald noted that twins had been born to Mr. & Mrs. Roger L. Ditto.

Consequences. In Truth or Consequences (formerly Hot Springs), N.Mex., police learned that Charles R. Bailey, who attracted their attention when he grabbed a nightclub microphone and started to sing, was wanted one place & another for car theft, breaking & entering, burglary, carrying concealed weapons, carrying a loaded weapon on a Government reservation.

Speechless. In Providence, the Journal printed in its entirety the shortest communication its Letters to the Editor column had ever received: "Editor: I am so damn mad I forgot what I was going to say. Jim Payne."

Dead End. In Columbus, Ohio, John A. Brooks was sentenced to 30 days after explaining that he had thrown a brick through a window only because he 1) was due in Florida in two days to report for induction into the Army, 2) did not have the train fare, and 3) hoped that if he got himself arrested the police would send him to Miami.

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