Having Wonderful Time

Major General Hobart R. Gay, commanding general of the U.S. ist Cavalry Division, sat on a pile of rocks in a little village about 1,000 yards from a Communist roadblock that had cut off two of his battalions.

While the general scanned the Red positions with his field glasses, two enemy soldiers came over a small rise and took cover behind some bushes, Gay jumped up, hailed U.S. half-track and zeroed its .50 caliber machine guns in on the squatting Communists. When the gunners stopped firing, skinny General Gay came back to his rock pile. "They sure did take off that hill," he said happily.

The general started searching the hills again. This time he found about 50 of the enemy in a draw up on a mountainside. They were too far away for the .505, so Gay ordered an artillery barrage behind the village to put in some airbursts. The first round was right in range, but 500 yards to the left of the target. Gay gave the correction to the guns. This time the rounds were right on the nose. The Reds who could still move raced back up the hill to safety. Gay had his airbursts follow them up.

"They don't like airbursts, and I don't blame them," the general said, peering through his glasses. "In the last war the Germans got me under airbursts and it scared the hell out of me."

The general kept going back & forth between his rock pile and the jeep where the artillery spotters were adjusting artillery fire. He gave an order here, congratulated a spotter there. "Haven't had so much fun since I was a lieutenant," he said, rubbing his balding head and picking up his glasses.

The morning wore on, and the general looked at his watch. "I've had all the fun I can have this morning," he said wistfully. "Now back to work."

The general was silent on the way to his headquarters. When he got there he walked unwillingly toward his desk. The desk had a pile of papers on it. Gay looked at them with distaste, plunked down his helmet. "I've been having myself a hell of a time," he said as if to himself. He looked at the papers and added: "But I guess that's the sort of thing generals ought not to be doing."

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