Personality Problem. In Albuquerque, recaptured after he had slipped out of state prison and chartered a plane to Tucumcari, N. Mex., State Prison Trusty William Alexander explained: "The warden hurt my feelings."

Sound Principle. In Philadelphia, accused of being too noisy, the Granoff School of Music put Sound Expert Daniel Greenfield on the stand to testify that he had measured the school's tootlings, found them "below the threshold of pain."

On the Meter. In Upton, England, the Rev. Sidney Clarence Jones warned that henceforth any bride who keeps her impatient groom waiting at the altar will be fined a shilling (14-c-) a minute after the first 5 minutes.

Face Saver. In Chicago, rescuers got to a car wrecked by a passenger train in time to see Mrs. Mae Kuecker pick herself up, calmly ask: "Is my face smudged?"

Testing. In Ada, Okla., a farmer and his family went down to try out the comforts of their newly completed storm cellar, emerged an hour later to find that a tornado had swept away their house, barn, outbuildings.

Maximum Effort. In Manila, P.I., Columnist Ernesto del Rosario of the Chronicle suggested that the new republic's austerity program might be more successful if government officials would: 1) limit the cost of their wives' party dresses to $500 or less each, and 2) not make the state support the "other woman."

Extra Service. In Bethpage, L.I., a drive-in movie theater, unhappy about being on the same island with an Air Force base, two aircraft factories and an atomic plant, announced that it would soon construct a reinforced concrete shelter "to provide its patrons with protection from an H-bomb."

Sabbath Notes. In Williamstown, Mass., the committee in charge of Sunday chapel service at Williams College urged all undergraduates to 1) "be clad in coat and tie," 2) "be at least outwardly sober."

Unfinished Business. In Grimsby, England, Arthur Hotham admitted the theft of two diamond rings, explained to police that he had only been trying to raise enough money to complete a four-year, round-the-world drinking spree on which he had already spent his entire $62,000 inheritance.

Last Drag. In St. Louis, Motorist Carl Simon finished smoking his cigar, heaved it out the car window, is still looking for two front teeth that came loose from his dental plate and went sailing out with the butt.

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