Army Game. In Alexandria, Va., ex-G. I. Norman Harris, charged with impersonating a soldier, explained that he had put on the uniform only to get into Fort Belvoir for a game of cards with some of the boys.

Brake Down. In Garden City, Kans., John Luther Fry headed for a garage to get his brakes fixed, couldn't stop until he had smashed the garage window.

Handyman. In Spokane, Disc-Jockey Robert Swartz, who had offered to do any odd jobs for listeners recognizing a popular tune played backwards, faced the prospect, after 18 people guessed right, of having to roof a house, iron some shirts, mow a lawn, repair a fishpond and weed a strawberry patch.

Premium. In Brooklyn-Queens Night Court, York Deas explained that the betting slips found in his pocket must have come with the secondhand pants he bought the night before.

No Hands. In North Little Rock, Ark., police arrested N. B. Beaugard for changing his shirt while driving through the city's main street in a rainstorm at 75 m.p.h.

Closed Shop. In Denver, the management conscientiously posted "No Dogs Allowed" signs all around the new local dog track.

Operation Trusty. In Michigan City, Ind., Trusties Walter Gump and Leo Stumbaugh, stopped while walking out of the Indiana State Prison, admitted that they did it frequently, had used their time off to hold up a store for $4,145 and buy a Buick coupe, which they kept in the prison parking lot when it was not being used either for joyrides or for getaway purposes in other holdups.

Reverse Charges. In Mobile, Ala., Mrs. Mildred Rice read the fine print on her divorce decree, learned that she had been given custody of her ex-husband rather than her child.

Tricks of the Trade. In Detroit, Patrolman Edward F. Borchardt, ace police retriever of stolen automobiles, was arrested for stealing an automobile.

Litter Perfect. In South Houston, Tex., a stray yellow alley cat wandered into the local post office building and gave birth to tour kittens under the Special Delivery table.

Inside Information. In Charleston. S.C., Mannie Griffin, suspected of theft, yielded up the evidence--a $20 bill and two $1's -- when police made him drink a solution of warm water and soap.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.