Modern Convenience. In Warren, Ohio, Mrs. Laura Brandt, thinking she was using water from the rain barrel, bathed the children, washed the dishes, took a bath and then discovered when she brushed her teeth that she had used her husband's crop of maple sap.

Bottleneck. In Horsham, England, police were making little progress in solving a burglary until they put some extra men on the case to help Police Sergeant William J. Wykes, got results when Wykes was arrested as the culprit.

The Breaking Point. In Manhattan, Morton Krouse filed suit for the return of 46 pennies he had dropped in subway vending machines since Sept. 28 without receiving a single peanut.

The Criminal Mind. In Wichita Falls, Tex., Maude Stonecipher reported that someone had ransacked her house, made off with two bottles of vanilla extract. In Niagara Falls, N.Y., Walter Tucker told police that someone had broken into his garage, left three automobile tires and wheels worth over $50. In Brighton, Iowa, Bank Cashier L. B. Luithly reported that the man who broke into the Rubio Savings Bank took nothing more valuable than two fountain pens.

Qualification. In Adelaide, Australia, the Supreme Court approved Bachelor George Albert Wyld's bequest of $100,000 for a maternity home "for young women who have erred for the first time but on no account for the second occasion . . ."

Sample. At Fort Knox, Ky., officials received a letter from a Floral Park (N.Y.) writer: "Gentlemen: Please send me a gold brick and some material on Ft. Knox."

You Tell Me. In Atlanta, when Holdup Victim D. M. Strickland got so jittery that he could not identify his assailants, police put Strickland in the lineup, had the two confessed gunmen pick him from the group.

Perseverance. In Auckland, N.Z., Thomas Clark, survivor of nine air crashes, applied for a steward's job on the Tasman Empire Airways.

Look Away, Look Away ... In Fort Worth, after a state industrial accident board awarded Norman L. Daugherty compensation when a Yankee socked him in the eye for whistling Dixie, the insurance company appealed on the ground that it was no accident but a continuation of the War Between the States.

Tenderfoot. In Melbourne, Rodeo Rider Reginald Cakebreak tried his little niece's rocking horse, fell and broke his collarbone.

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