Lesser Evil. In Sunnyvale, Calif wearied by Bob Sarvis' long-winded, 20-minute protest over a $1 traffic fine, Judge Peter R. Bond paid the fine himself.

Drainage District. In Monroe, Ore. residents left their faucets running to keep the pipes from freezing, completely drained the reservoir.

Piece Work. In Savannah, J. H. Allen, convicted of stabbing William C. Henson| was fined $1 for each of the 300 stitches taken in Henson's wounds. In Philadelphia, Dennis Callahan pleaded guilty to assault & battery, was given one month in jail for each of the 26 stitches taken in his victim.

His Honor. In Norwalk, Conn., the city council, considering an increase in Mayor Irving Freese's $48-a-week salary, took note of the fact that he makes $2 less than the garbage collectors.

Sedative. In Manchester, England, Margaret Allen explained to police why she had murdered Nancy Chadwick: "It would never have happened if I had had a smoke. I was irritable."

Mine Host. In Winnipeg, Canada, Walter Broughton baited his want ad for a cottage with a promise: the landlord would be "cordially invited to all parties."

Circumstantial. In Arlington, Va., Robert L. Thomas was acquitted of a numbers writing charge when he came up with the perfect defense: he couldn't write.

With the Silver. In Cleveland, doctors ministered to Mrs. Helen Sholtes, who had been shot in both legs by husband Andrew while they were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary.

The Criminal Mind. In St. Louis, after Chef Samuel Patterson had assured two gunmen that he had no money, they settled for two slabs of apple pie.

Shhh! In Washington, the Department of Commerce announced that both National Baby Week and National Noise Abatement Week would begin on May 1 this year.

Repossession. In Springfield, Mass., when James Smith told the court that he could not pay a $50 traffic fine, Judge Ralph S. Spooner suggested that he raise the money by selling his car.

H.C.L. In Turin, Italy, the fine for public kissing, which was 10 lire before the war, hit a new high of 5,500 lire.

Take It or Leave It. In Denver, Contest Addict Allene Melrose wondered what to do with the prize allowing her a 10% discount at a local mortuary.

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