Job Security. In Philadelphia. Car Thief Arthur R. Schauer finally persuaded Judge George A. Welsh to double his six-month jail sentence so that he could qualify for a prison job and help support his family.

Guest Privileges. In Santa Rosa, Calif., ailing Dr. Robert S. Quinn consulted the doctors he had asked in to dinner, who concluded that he was in critical shape, rushed him to the hospital where they performed an appendectomy.

Best Friend. In London, Wally Farey, fined $4 for keeping a horse in his boardinghouse room, sadly explained: "I was lonely."

Throwback. In Brownsville, Tex., Air Express complained that the Snake King Bird & Animal Farm had shipped a descented skunk which gave birth, en route, to a normally scented baby.

Overhead. In Little Rock, Ark., City Clerk R. A. Lange patiently explained to an applicant that before he could get a permit to build "a $15 chicken coop, he would have to submit a set of blueprints costing $25.

Brief Encounter. In Salem, Mass., Robert C. Carter sued for divorce, complained bitterly that his wife had deserted him a block from the church, two minutes after the wedding.

The Legal Mind. In Minot, N.D., Judge Roy A. Ilvedson ordered Theodore Baker, who had been arrested for drunken driving, to go at once and get himself a driver's license, so that the state could revoke it.

Safety Catch. In San Diego, workmen at the U.S. Grant Hotel reported that they had to scramble to a safer place when a fire broke out on the fire escape they were installing.

Uneasy Heads. In Mars Hill, N.C., Mary Stringfield, queen of the Carolina Poultry Industries Exposition, ate a plate of scrambled eggs at her coronation and broke out in a rash. In Chicago, Cornelia Ward, queen of the National Safety Council Congress, was shaken up in an automobile accident.

Man's World. In Ito, on Izu Peninsula, Japan, natives celebrated the beginning of their annual three-day shiritsumi festival, during which the law allows any man to pinch any woman.

Gentleman. In Manhattan, Patrolman William H. Schneider, arrested for holding up a liquor store, explained that he needed the money to pay poker debts he had run up around precinct headquarters.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.