Fancy Free. In The Bronx, N.Y., William Storgoff, who was charged with grand larceny, forgery and impersonation, bore a tattoo reading "Death Before Dishonor."

Hot Honk. In Glendale, Calif., the flames that enveloped L. L. Biggs's garage short-circuited the starter of his car and jolted it out to safety, short-circuited the horn and awakened Biggs.

Dog's Life. In Los Angeles, Harry Hetzler insisted to police that it was impossible for his car to have been stolen because 1) it was parked just outside, 2) his dog was in it and would have barked, and 3) Ranch Hand Carl Thomas would have heard the noise and called him; the police patiently explained to Hetzler that 1) the car was in Yuma, Ariz., 2) the dog was still in it but sitting quietly, and 3) Ranch Hand Thomas had been arrested as the thief.

Three's a Crowd. In Oakland, Calif., Mrs. Ida Kelly Vartanian was granted a divorce when she testified that her husband not only refused to keep the house warm enough for her pet rat but criticized it for eating too much.

Scuttlebutt. In Kansas City, whoever broke the window of the Sound Radio Service store ignored the four genuine radio sets on display, scuttled off with the only dummy.

Heavenly. In Jonesboro, Ark., two Saints (Virgil and Richard) and an Angel (Louis) were fined for drunkenness.

Long Arm. In Lingen, Germany, police finally found the headquarters of a robbery ring: the local jail, whose wardens had sent teams of criminals out looting every night and divvied the swag with them every morning.

Double Exposure. In Washington, VA officials finally straightened out the records of the Massey twins, Laughn W. and Vaughn W., who served in the same training class, went to Europe on the same ship, served in the same unit, were promoted twice to the same grades on the same days, were wounded by the same shellburst, went to the same field hospital, were discharged from the same camp the same day, went to work for the same company and enrolled in the same business school, where they took the same courses.

Fielder's Choice. In Pacific Beach, Calif., Stan Picard lost a wheel off his trailer, watched it roll into the hands of a stranger who quickly loaded it into his car and drove away.

Test Case. In Nashville, George Willisschlegelsleenhousenbergerdorff applied for a job as a typesetter.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.