Cradle to Grave

Like Britain's, France's Socialist Government is dedicated to an economy planned from womb to tomb. Last week, in a five-page decree to France's morticians, Premier Paul Ramadier and Interior Minister Edouard Depreux offered a formula fixing the price for coffin-carrying in a two-horse hearse:

T divided by T sub o = a + b times (S divided by S subscript o)

plus c times (M divided by M subscript o)

plus d times (V divided by V subscript o)

plus e times (N divided by N sub o)

where T and T subscript o represent the new and old tariffs, S and Ssubscript o are variations in the driver's salary, based on the secondary formula

S subscript o = P subscript o times (L plus f subscript o divided by 100) ;

M and M subscript o are variations in the price of oats, V and V subscript o are variations in the price of horses, N and N subscript o the current price range in rubber tires, and a, b, c, d, e are "coefficients whose total value is one."

"Dying," observed Paris' Le Figaro, "is getting as complicated as living." The living who would have to deal with the formula might disagree.

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