Evening Out. In Bell Gardens, Calif., Joseph Bray, 37, left his wife and 13 children and eloped with the 16-year-old baby sitter.

Next Case. In Brooklyn, Jonas Lowenhaar was acquitted of using "loud and boisterous" language when the discerning judge perceived that Lowenhaar was a mute.

Happy Day. In St. Petersburg, Fla., the Chamber of Commerce proudly announced that a visitor from Tennessee was suing the city for $500, for first-degree burns suffered while sunbathing.

False Ring. In Chicago, investigators of the theft of a diamond ring quizzed Ann Wiegand, who talked too fast, let the ring drop out of her mouth.

Something in Common. In Manhattan, Evelyn Cooney, who writes newspaper obituaries, announced her engagement to Bill Gannon, who embalms the subjects.

The Works. In Arlington, Va., a painter outside a beauty shop sprayed an air intake, inadvertently turned the hair of eight customers under the dryers a bright red.

Guest of Honor. In Numata, Japan, one Tomonsuke Namba attended a banquet celebrating his election to the town council, next day was arrested for having picked the pockets of three guests.

Record. In Atlanta, Willie Ward was jugged for drunkenness but soon released: Willie, 115, had been arrested twice before, but had a good clear record for 100 years.

Fraternal. In Ephrata, Wash., brothers Luther & Homer Gray, meeting for the first time in six years, exchanged a cordial, hearty handshake that fractured Luther's arm.

Prescription. In Chicago, Dr. G. L. Apfelbach reported better fishing luck after he hopped up his worms with Benzedrine.

Nows. In Franklin, N.H., the weekly Journal-Transcript announced that its staff was going on a ten-day vacation; but subscribers needn't worry about missing the news: next week's issue was already printed and ready for distribution.

Playtime. In Louisville, Norma and Charlotte Eppihimer broke a neighbor's window, entered, smashed two sets of china, emptied the refrigerator on the kitchen floor, basted the mess with mustard, scattered the contents of some bedroom dressers, built a fire on the livingroom floor, knifed a chicken, let the mule out of the pasture, and painted the family cat & dog green.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.