No Harm in Trying. In Jonesboro, Ark., Jailbreaker Paul Hutsell was promptly put back in the clink when he walked into the police station, applied for a job on the force.

Afterthought. In Plymouth, Mass., someone inserted a classified ad in the Guide to Cape Cod offering to swap a twin baby carriage for twin beds.

Summons. In Seattle, Assistant Police Chief Batson recognized his own auto horn, rushed out to the street, where one very tipsy Frank Ard was sitting in the car, shouting: "Service!" He got it.

Hook. In Texarkana, Ark., Dr. J. A. Little golfed to the shallow part of a water hazard, took a healthy swing, nib-licked high & dry one four-pound bass.

Improvements. In Rutland, Vt., John Hill bought an unimproved lot on Water Street; that night a dam broke and the floods came, set down two houses on John's real estate.

Proper Names. In Haverhill, Mass., William Peach was married to Annie Cann. In New Orleans, cops stopped an unlicensed hotdog business operated by Messrs. Irving Veal & Louis Baloney.

Sweet Revenge. In Schenectady, a bar fly, refused a drink for being too deep in his cups, staggered furiously out of Wahl's Grill, returned a few minutes later, plunked a hive full of honey bees on the bar.

Off & On. In Texarkana, Ark., Bus Driver Jim Crowell informed a would-be passenger that she could not enter his bus with her live chickens, let her in after she obligingly twisted the heads off the two birds.

Just to Make Sure. In Los Angeles, Rel Brown could not remember if strawberries & cream were on his diet, telephoned his wife in London to find out that they were. Cost of phone call: $94; cost of breakfast with the strawberries: $1.29.

Weaker Sex. In Nottingham, England, Thomas Albert Morley came home one night, manfully announced: "I'm boss from now on." Thereupon his wife 1) pushed him over a chair, 2) kicked him, 3) cut his arm with a knife, 4) cut him under the eye with a well-aimed teapot, 5) threatened to kill him.

Cause & Effect. In White Plains, N.Y., a cop handed Motorist Louis Mazaferro a ticket for speeding at 54 m.p.h.; when Mazaferro nervously dashed away at 58 m.p.h., the cop caught him and handed him another.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.