Monday, Apr. 07, 1947

Goodbye Again. In Toronto, U.S. Consul Curtis Everett finally sent for & received his furniture from Switzerland after six years, immediately got orders to return to his old post in Switzerland.

Lesson. In Bremerton, Wash., Oren B. Relyea forfeited $50 bail on a charge of negligent driving, resumed his job teaching a "driver education" class.

Slow Burn. In Woodstock, Vt., a fire broke out in the basement of the Wendall Walker house on Sunday; the staircase caught fire on Monday; an upstairs partition blazed on Tuesday; the jittery Walkers moved out on Wednesday; the house burned down on Thursday.

Advance Payment. In Portland, Ore., George A. Johnson confessed that he was employed last year when he collected $126 unemployment compensation, persuaded the judge that he is truly jobless now, and will pay back every cent out of the unemployment benefits he gets this year.

High & Dry. In Tulsa, a woman driver put out her hand, tied up traffic for three blocks, eventually explained to a cop: "Oh, I'm not going to turn; I'm just drying my nail polish."

Big Enough. In Denver, a spring-fevered columnist tested an old metaphor, concluded that it takes a roll of exactly 158 one-dollar bills to choke a horse.

Mom's Ante. In Roxbury, Mass., six housewives forfeited $10 each for playing poker on Sunday--on complaint of their husbands.

Ultimatum. In Bergenfield, N.J., a movie-house manager stopped the show, gave the audience an ultimatum: the show would not continue until all the bubble-gum poppers had turned in their gum.

Unavoidable. In Chicago, Paul A. Whitney frankly admitted that he had written $1,100 in bad checks, explained that he had no choice, since he couldn't make ends meet on his $250 weekly pay.

Word from Home. In Des Moines, canny State Representative Harold Nelson left a cigar box planted with corn sprouts atop his desk, felt confident that restless farmer-legislators would demand adjournment when the sprouts began to sprout.

Answer. In Washington, a Congressman's secretary phoned the Civilian Production Administration to ask about a premium payment program on a certain building material, was referred to a clerk, to a Mr. Martin, to a Mr. Rennick, to a Mr. Dell, to a Mr. Manning, and, finally to a Mr. Guth, who had the answer: that phase of the program had been terminated.

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