Last Puritan. In Detroit, Congregationalist Minister Albert Ziarko sued wife Zelda for divorce, complained that she smoked in front of parishioners, failed to dust his Bible.

Winged Victory. In Woodland, Calif., duck hunter Charles Roller found a pelican with a broken wing, started to set it, had to struggle to keep the bird quiet, got his head caught in its 15-inch beak.

Us on a Bus. In Garden City, Kan., John Lavore, a passenger on a snowbound bus, struck up a conversation with Passenger Thelma McLean, talked to her two nights in a row, next day married her.

Past Master. In Berlin, German postal officials got a letter from New Orleans addressed "His Imperial Majesty, Emperor William II, Under Linden, 36, Berlin, W 8, Germany."

Why, Patsy. In Detroit, neighbors of the Kramer Bros. trucking company, aroused by the drivers' "loud profanity," got a court order restraining them from saying anything stronger than "for pity's sake."

Nonstop. In Chicago, Patrick Rogers, irate when three streetcars passed him by, said "I'll stop the next one!" stepped on to the track, waved his arms, was knocked down and killed.

Gay Blade. In St. Louis, Jerome Scissors got engaged to Laura Cutter.

Holdout. In New Rochelle, N.Y., an elderly woman boarded a train, told the conductor, "I didn't buy this ticket today," gave him one dated September 1898.

Bartered Bride. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Bette Doughty sued for a divorce, complained that right after her wedding her husband Billy took her to his favorite bar, collared the bartender, said: "Well, I told you I'd marry her. Give me the $5."

Unreconverted. In Seattle, Sailor Thomas Washington climbed atop a five-story hotel, tore bricks out of the chimney, heaved them down at pedestrians, after 30 minutes of action (no casualties) was captured, explained that he was "sore at civilians."

Personal Aim. In Raritan Township, N.J., Albert Robinson, haled into court for throwing rocks at Eugene Michael's car, pleaded not guilty, declared: "I didn't throw rocks at the car; I threw them at Michael."

Traveling Bag. In Atlanta, Ruth Brown lost her handbag in a restaurant, went to a store to buy a new one, found her own bag for sale on the counter.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.