Silver Lining. In Milwaukee, Joseph Lobner, after a three-year stomachache, finally had himself Xrayed, found he had swallowed a fork.

Burned Up. In Tulsa, police seized a landlord who set fire to his property to burn a tenant out.

Unconventional. In New Haven, Conn., Michael Whalen made a 15-minute nominating speech at the county convention, sat down, suddenly realized he had not mentioned his candidate's name.

Dislocated. In Clay County, Mo., a bewildered resident consulted two county maps, found his street listed as North Terrace, Fortieth Ave., Devon Road, Thirty-Sixth St., Piburn Road, Fifth St., called for help.

Headwork. In Vienna, House-Hunters Martina Lang and Franz Muelbacher got desperate, decapitated Joseph and Anna Schwarz, tried to move into their apartment, landed in jail instead.

Washout. In Casper, Wyo., seekers for secondhand bathtubs sought out the wrecker of a 56-room hotel, found the hotel had been bathless.

Internal Revenue. In Cobh, Eire, Rachel Finn paid a shilling for eggs, took them home, broke one, found a shilling inside.

Outward Bound. On the Hudson River, Thomas Mulqueen dived off a Manhattan ferry, rescued a determined would-be suicide, who soundly berated him for butting in.

Cashed In. In San Francisco, an autopsy on Oscar, a trained seal, found in his stomach: 514 pennies, 27 nickels, eight dimes, one quarter, two tokens.

Recovered. In Kansas City, Toby Brenner picked up the wrong hat in a restaurant, a year later went back, picked up the wrong hat again, found it was his own.

Stock Question. In Decatur, Ind., Restaurateur Lem Ehler rebelled at saying "No meat," posted a large sign: "How do you want your eggs?"

Tough Break. In Sarnia, Ontario, Ronald Armstrong went to bed sound in limb, awoke a few hours later, felt a mysterious pain in his leg, found he had broken it.

Odd Lot. In Honolulu, the Army put up for sale 72,000 pounds of bologna, 109 pairs of spurs, 28 saddles, 115,000 antichap lipsticks, 1,000 suits of ladies' long underwear treated to withstand mustard gas.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.