Return Trip. In Muskegon, Mich., William Johnson, his automobile stolen, thumbed a ride, thought the car looked familiar, saw it was his own.

Collector's Item. In Wealdstone, England, court business ground to a halt while attendants searched for the court Bible, found it in the handbag of a witness.

Nodding Acquaintance. In Port Washington, Wis., a bride-to-be sheepishly returned her wedding invitations to the printer when her fiance pointed out that his name was Frank, not Charles.

Dogged. In St. Joseph, Mo., Ronnie Haden taught his talking dog to say, "I love my mamma," tried to teach it "I hate war," got instead "I hate mamma."

Boarder Incident. In Chicago, Landlady Selma Cladburn sued two tenants for damages, complained that they had struck her, spit at her, locked her up while they painted her mahogany furniture white.

Bird-Lover. In Manhattan, lonely Ismail M. Ismail Hindeway, preparing to visit his native Egypt for the first time in years, was told at shipside that he would have to leave his 18 canaries behind, forthwith canceled his passage.

Secret Weapon. In British Columbia, Dominion Apiarist C. B. Gooderham investigated a report that Squamish Valley bees were stingless, got stung on the forehead.

Self-Defense. In Newark, Vice-Ordinary John O. Bigelow held that the late Louisa Strittmater's contempt for men passed the bounds of reason, set aside her will leaving $15,000 to the National Women's Party.

Strike Two! In Harrison, Me., J. Melville Jordan lost a barn when lightning struck, built a new one, lost it when lightning struck again.

Discrimination. In Mansfield, Ohio, John V. Farrell complained to police that a neighbor's dog always attacked his good leg, never his artificial one.

Tactless Bloomer. In Lisbon Falls, Me., Mrs. Fred Foote's night-blooming cereus stubbornly held out for 7 1/2 years, finally bloomed while she was on vacation.

Parting Shot. In Utica, N.Y., Andrew S. Hunter went on a spree, encountered an Alcoholics Anonymous worker, Murray Curtin, heard his arguments, shot him dead.

Hot Spot. In Manhattan, a Broadway joint's jukebox, giving forth hot jazz, began to smoke, then burst into flames.

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