Zinc Trap. In Brooklyn, 280-pounder Bertha Singer found herself stuck in the bathtub, was wrenched by her son, tugged by a police emergency squad, lubricated with cooking oil, after 17 hours was pried out.

Hijacked. In Los Angeles, Walter Standard returned to his car, found its rear end jacked up and two 'tires gone, rushed to call police, returned again, found the jack gone, too.

Salvage. In Seattle, Ralph Korth, while out rowing, spotted a floating wallet. picked it up, found $80 in it, found also that the wallet was his.

Drain. In Alhambra, Calif., two thieves listened to their car radio while companions looted a market, later tried to make a getaway, found they had run down the battery; the starter wouldn't turn over.

The Smiths. In Los Angeles, Obstetrician Donald G. Tollefson, assisted by Nurses Jean Smith and Theodora Smith, delivered within ten hours Stephanie Smith, Lenny Smith and Douglas Smith.

Deflation. In Teaneck, N.J., homeless Fireman Fred Fadar heard the town council would sell a six-room house if the buyer would move it, bid $1 just for the laugh, learned the house was his.

Intervention. In Gunnison, Utah, Mrs. Verl Anderson, about to kill a chicken for dinner, was tossed about by lightning, found herself bruised, the chicken dead.

Class Unity. In Marion County, Ore., at eighth-grade graduation Howard Wilson was valedictorian, salutatorian, class historian, had been the only member of his class nearly all his school career.

Double, Double. In Somerville, N.J., the Richard Fiedlers found their twins had outgrown their two cribs, gave them away to two expectant mothers, later learned the mothers had twins.

Bouncer. In Troy, N.Y., four-year-old Lenore Gittleman fell from a three-story window, caromed off an awning, struck a 50-year-old woman, landed unhurt beside an infant in a baby carriage.

Tel. Tale. In St. Joseph, Mo., Don Kempton finally got a telephone, immediately had constant calls about price ceilings, found he had the OPA's old number.

Along the Third Rail. In Boston, Francis E. O'Malley, chased down the subway tracks by a policeman and a subway starter, was caught at the next station, declared he knew no reason for the chase, later was surprised to learn his pursuers had none either.

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