Monday, Jun. 17, 1946
Uncontrolled. In Phoenix, Ariz., Richard Sirmer hurled a bottle of lighter fluid at an annoying cat, tossed his flaming lighter after it, burned up the cat, burned down the house.
Co-Prosperity. In Evansville, Ind., business got so good that George Zimmerman couldn't make a living. His job: referee in bankruptcy.
Swap. In Tacoma, Wash., safecrackers burgled a meat market, took $450, left a ticket to the policemen's ball.
Tracked Down. In a divorce suit in San Jose, Calif., Sam Irwin claimed he suspected shenanigans between his wife and the hired man, soon got his proof: coming & going footprints in the flour he had cunningly sprinkled on the floor between their rooms.
Bottoms Up. In Buffalo, George and Allen Filsinger took four months to build a boat, launched it, hoisted sail, promptly capsized. They had forgotten the keel.
Diminishing Returns. In Terre Haute, Ind., Candidates Perry Pine and Ivan Pugh tied at 100 votes each, asked for and got a recount, tied again at 99.
Nuts. In Des Moines, prankish burglars robbed the Hawkeye Nut Co. of $125, mailed the proprietor a cartoon which showed squirrels carrying nuts out of a basement window while a watching policeman telephoned: "Sarge, I've just solved that nut shop robbery."
Reckoning. In Portland, Ore., Carl Peterson sent the city a $6.80 bill for repairs on his windshield wiper, thrice damaged by thumb-handed cops tucking parking tickets under it.
Last Resort. In Miami, a desperate ad appeared in the Herald: "Harvard graduate, age 20, B.S. in chemistry. . . . Willing to work for a Yaleman. . . ."
Hot Dogs. In Moultrie, Ga., Henry Fort sprinkled powder in his shoes, later discovered he had grabbed the can containing adhesive powder for false dentures.
Eerie. In Manila, Cart Driver Alejandro Salazar complained that a G.I. passenger got mad about something or other, bit off his ear.
Herdbound. In Philadelphia, when U.S. District Court jurors lined up to march back to the courthouse after lunch, 100 passersby, thinking it a nylon queue, fell in behind.
Out of the Blue. In Vancouver, Wash., Kauffman Street residents took cover when a berserk robin terrorized the neighborhood with Kamikaze dives.
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