Step Down, Please. In Elizabeth, N.J., Auto Passenger Armando Brito awoke, decided to get out and stretch, floated briefly through the air, became acutely aware that the car had been six feet up on an automatic lift.

Illustrated Lecture. In Belleville, N J., Business Manager Ruel Daniels' report to the Board of Education on juvenile window-breaking was punctuated by a rock crashing through a window.

Lay That Bottle Down. In Virginia, Mrs. Edward Comfort's car unexpectedly overturned when her 15-month-old baby took a swing at her, knocked her silly with a nursing bottle.

Target for Tonight. In Dinkelsbuhl, Germany, there was a near panic when somebody started a rumor that the planet Saturn had jumped its orbit, was hellbent for Dinkelsbuhl.

Take That. In New Orleans, Drawbridge Tender Albert White indulged in a few drinks, then in a long-suppressed impulse: he let a car onto the bridge, dumped it off again.

Just Give Me Time. At LaGuardia Field, N.Y., Mrs. James Booras, christening her husband's new twin-engined plane, took resolute aim with a champagne bottle, fanned the air, fanned it again, fanned it 28. more times, at the 31st try hit it.

Dear Diary. In London, Actress Hermione Gingold discreetly overlooked the theft of her ration book, furs, dresses and whiskey, appealed for the return of her diary, because "it has telephone numbers essential to my plans."

Claptrap. In San Jose, Calif., a new electric rattrap was demonstrated: the rat walked in, the door banged shut, the machine buzzed threateningly, the door opened, the rat walked out.

Tongue-Tied. In Berkeley, Calif., police heard over the phone a feeble, gagged "Help!", traced the call, rushed to the address, unhooked Mrs. Gertrude Gumbs's tongue from under her lower plate.

Family Affair. In Ottawa, Hockey Player Connie Brown accidentally flipped the puck into a crowd of 9,170, gave his father a nine-stitch cut in the face.

Stuck Needle. In Hartford, Conn., a motorist parked outside the police station while he paid a $1 fine for illegal parking, returned to find a ticket for illegal parking.

Home, Fido. In Pensacola, Fla., Navy Lieut. C. J. Sabel was indignant at being fined $12.50 for reckless driving. The chauffeur: his shirted and cravatted Great Dane.

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