Whopper

The French National Radio had just completed a news broadcast. Without explanation, the announcer said: "Monsieur Helium, delegate of the World Institute of Atomic Research, will make an important announcement."

Said "Monsieur Helium": "European scientists have been forced to halt their experiments because of the frightful danger of a chain of atomic explosions which may cause the world to fly apart."

Quicker than he could say pardon!, another announcer broke in: "Atomic energy has turned [into a] Frankenstein [monster and] mastered its inventors. Shattering explosions have rent the earth from Siberia to Ontario."

Then, to the accompaniment of eerie music and the sound of loud explosions, a succession of breathless news announcers pleaded with Parisians not to panic. "You are helpless in any case," they added. They begged listeners to remain calm "even if you see sudden flashes in the sky, hear claps of thunder; if the earth quakes, lights fail, electric motors stop and you sense . . . loss of equilibrium."

The announcers kept it up: "bulletins" described cities disintegrating, ships disappearing at sea, the world splitting wide open. From the Paris boulevards, an announcer brought the sound of French thousands wailing, screaming, praying. From Notre Dame Cathedral came hymn singing, organ music.

By this time, frantic French listeners were flying to their windows, rushing into the street, gathering weeping children about them. Babies were born prematurely into a world their mothers thought was ending. Suicides were reported. Many listeners called the police or their parish priests. Few stayed near their radios long enough to hear the announcer say: "Wake up. It's a joke."

Next day the French Government, not at all amused, dismissed Claude Bourdet, new director general of French broadcasting. Also suspended was moonfaced Scriptwriter Jean Nocher, who complained: "I can't understand. I intentionally put all kinds of whoppers in it [so listeners would know it was a joke]. For instance, I made Catholics sing a Protestant hymn, Nearer, My God, to Thee"

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