Hard to Swallow. In Green Bay, Wis, Sgt. Norbert Rasmussen, questioned for not having a driver's license, explained that he had eaten it last December to conceal his identity from his German captors.

Recipe. In Agra, India, Mohammed Mian Ali, III, father of 19 sons, prepared to marry for the 13th time, gave his recipe for happiness: "Read Omar Khayyam. ..."

Direct Hit. In Seattle, James Hearn sustained a sore neck when he lost his balance, fell three floors down an air shaft, landed in an easy chair.

Interesting. In Baltimore, Marine Pfc. Edmund Egbert, dutifully filling out a questionnaire, described his "most interesting" war experience: "The day I got hit I had an experience with a Jap whereas we went around and around a rock that is which led to bloodshed first his and then mine."

Oh, Physician! In Los Angeles, Dr. Edwin B. Glass, professional adviser on marital relations, was sued for divorce.

Eventually ... In Manhattan, an enterprising undertaking establishment tacked up a sign which urged: "Come in and have your 1945 form filled out."

Master Plan. In Hollywood, heptagamous David Hardy (seven wives, 0 divorces) proposed to plead guilty, join the Army, take out a $10,000 life-insurance policy, let the judge collect the proceeds if Hardy was killed and apportion it among his wives.

The Omnipotent Government. In Kinston, N.C., an elderly woman hopefully applied to relief authorities for "old age resistance."

Jewel. In Lexington, Ky., answering an ad which offered to sell a "Beautiful Man's Genuine Italian Heavy Cameo Ring," one eager woman wrote: "I don't care anything about the ring, but I'd like to bid on the beautiful man."

Logic. In Boise, Idaho, Prisoner Verdelle McWilliams asked for a pardon, argued: "I have reformed, and if I haven't you'll get me back."

Progress. In Edmonton, Canada, Pilot Officer Bill Laubman, fresh from a transatlantic flight, announced that he would now try to master the art of driving an automobile.

Unhappy Ending. In Manhattan, Mrs. Thomas Guerin, 80, after 55 years of marriage killed her husband with a carving knife.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.