Rite of Spring. In Hillsdale, Mich., a citizen was refused his eighth marriage license in eight years, even after he confided to the county clerk that he had never been divorced, celebrated a private anniversary by getting remarried to his wife every spring.

No Dice. In Roseville, Calif., a city-operated recreation center for children folded after four months because a nearby poolroom had absorbed all the juvenile customers.

It's a Gael. In Seattle, Judge John Neergaard suspended sentence on all Irish drunks appearing before him as an aftermath of St. Patrick's Day, for good measure included in his amnesty a Mexican named Francisco Gallagher.

New Twist. In Chicago, experimenting with some new jujitsu holds, Joseph Dwyer and Harry Stevens simultaneously broke each other's right leg.

Woo! Woo! In Stoneham, Mass., Basil Tasker, 47, father of three and jobless since Christmas because he had to stay home with the kiddies, went wooing through the advertising columns, soon had 50 applicants for his hand.

Last Roll. In Chertsey, England, mourners carried out the deathbed request of Thomas Elston, drove in his funeral procession the steamroller he had driven and loved for 38 years.

Foolish Notion. In Seattle, Eric Mackey slashed his left wrist, drank down a bottle of disinfectant, jumped seven stories from a hotel room, had his plunge broken by a jutting marquee. At the local hospital he commented: "Kind of foolish thing to do. I could have killed myself."

Three's a Crowd. In Paris, a bridegroom got his divorce on charges that, after a lavish high-noon marriage, his bride, an acquaintance of only a few months, had borne a child before midnight.

What Next? In Tacoma, Wash., agitated by a temporary shortage of toilet paper throughout the papermaking Northwest, wholesalers started a "Share the Roll" campaign.

From Right to Left. In Seattle, when a whiskey-toting sailor jaywalked into her automobile, Genevieve Thompson stopped, took as witnesses the names of those riding in a car she had just passed. The witnesses, who included the local traffic judge, city attorney, substitute traffic judge, head of the Police Safety Education Unit, and two traffic council officials, let the sailor go on his way, gave Genevieve a ticket for wrong-side driving.

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