The Wonderful Kitchen

The tall tales that advertising men have been telling housewives about the labor-saving wonders of the mechanical "world of tomorrow" have been enough to make realists see red. Sidney A. Mullikin, sales and advertising manager, and Thomas L. Hand, formerly product designer for The Schaible Co. (small plumbing fixtures) of Cincinnati, have been much annoyed by these streamlined taradiddles. Seized one day with a desire to debunk the false prophets, Mullikin & Hand planned a reductio ad absurdum, their own radar-electronic "kitchen of tomorrow," and showed a sketch of it to their boss. Schaible was so tickled that it rounded out the idea in a burlesque pamphlet, sent it out as direct-mail advertising. By last week, requests for the pamphlet were running ahead of the printers.

The two big basic items of Schaible's wonderful kitchen ("Costs no more than a good six-room house") are a 105-mm. twin-spout faucet, jutting formidably from a revolving turret in the center of the kitchen; and a glistening floor which is at once a swimming pool, ice rink, washing machine, merry-go-round and giant strainer. (Schaible's chief products: faucets and strainers.) Other wonders:

P: Sealed tanks of compressed sun rays and cold waves which provide warmth in winter and "coolth" in summer.

P: Self-rocking rocket cradle for "streamlined baby."

P: Chemical garden which raises pre-dehydrated fruit, vegetables and fish in sufficient quantities to feed the whole neighborhood.

P: A "mood control keyboard" which will influence the frame of mind of everyone in the kitchen. "Has dangerous possibilities: keyboard can run gamut of emotions up to complete hypnosis."

P: An automatic device which fills strainer floor with water to depths of two feet for wading children, to seven feet for swimming adults. "If you must show off still further, go ahead and turn on Hollywood electrical aquatic display, in color. Warning: with swimmers in pool, for goodness sake watch out for button that operates automatic disposal!"

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