Long, Long Trail. In Asheville, N.C., Technical Sergeant Elmer Akau, who had fought on Guadalcanal and been hospitalized in New Caledonia, found himself "returned" to an Army redistribution center. Happy but baffled, he announced that he had never been so far from his Honolulu home.

Path of Progress. In London, Polish Engineer Jan Horzelski announced his invention of a coin-flipping machine which can be adjusted to flip either heads or tails with 99% accuracy.

Surprise, Surprise. In Denver, the Colorado Board of Examiners for engineers and land surveyors gathered to surprise Member James Underhill with a gold cup for 20 years' perfect attendance. Underhill was absent.

Blood Suckers. In Washington, D.C., postal inspectors discovered that some mailbox thieves now steal checks, hurry to a blood bank, give a pint, get a receipt made out to the name of the check, cash their loot by presenting a patriotic identification.

For the Ears. In New Mexico, when an airline hostess passed out chewing gum with the routine instruction "For the ears," a lady passenger later complained: "It worked all right, but couldn't you use something not so sticky?"

Shot in the Dark. In Monson, Me., Mrs. Aubury Williams, sleepless, silenced some yowling cats by firing a shot from her husband's revolver into the night, found in her backyard next morning a dead, full-grown wildcat, worth $15 bounty.

B.B. Persuader. In St. Paul, a proposed bill to outlaw air rifles met violent opposition from one Minnesota farmer who wanted to know how, if the bill were passed, he could get his bull into the barn.

On the Spot. In Palau, Hospital Apprentice ist Class Albert O. Seagle stood at his post, felt a Jap bullet strike his leg, fell on an operating table, received treatment. Elapsed time: 3 seconds.

Refugee. In Lewiston, Idaho, after hiding in the hills for 13 years because he objected to Roosevelt's election in 1932, William C. Morland was arrested, charged with theft and draft evasion, informed there was a war on. Said Morland: "Who got us into that?"

Memory. In New Haven, Conn., Edward Morse, 27, confessed to slashing nine valuable paintings at the Yale Art Gallery because the portraits looked like people who came to his house when he was young and threatened to harm his mother.

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