Solution. In Los Angeles, Alvin Meyers used up his last coupons for ten gallons of gas, drove nowhere with it because his four-year-old son filled up the rest of the tank with water and his father's bottle of vitamin pills.

Aperitif. In Detroit, Fred Maechtle decided to end it all, turned on the gas, waited patiently for several hours, finally got hungry, lit a match to find some food, blew up the house, escaped with burns.

Cornucopia. In Yakima. Wash., Messrs. Lemon and Cherry arranged to sell the Plum Apartments on West Chestnut Street to an apple grower from Cherry Hill.

Business as Usual. In London, staff members, inspecting the robombed wreckage of the Cable & Wireless headquarters, heard a telephone ring, burrowed through piles of debris, answered the call, returned to their clearance job.

About Time. In Pittsfield, Mass., Mrs. Helen Giordano claimed that her husband Jerry had thrown an alarm clock at her after only 27 days of marriage, got her divorce.

Past Masters. In Brooklyn, N.Y., Mrs. Joseph Pearlman, saying that she had been married ten years and "should know the facts of life," sued to make her 78-year-old stepfather return her copy of D. H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover.

Mutual Consent. In Seattle, Louis Coleman petitioned for a refund on a marriage license, explained that he and his girl were still in love but unfortunately were also in jail.

Damned Spot. In Cincinnati, a sign on a locked cigar store read: "Out of cigars. Out of cigarets. Out of gum. Out of films. Out of stamps. Out of patience. Out of town."

Purist. In Durham, N.C., one A. E. Lloyd insisted that "stoping" meant an excavation method in mining, refused to pay a fine for parking beside a "No Stoping" sign. The court docilely dropped charges, ordered the misspelling corrected.

Ticketed. In Greenwich, Conn., the Salvatore Vizzos, proud parents of twin boys, named them, according to weight, John W. Bricker Vizzo (6 lbs. 7 oz.) and Thomas E. Dewey Vizzo (5 lbs. 14 oz.).

Roll Call. In Philadelphia, James D. Six, one of the six Six boys in the armed forces, came home on furlough. In Dayton, newly recruited to the WACs, was Mrs. Pearl Harbour. In California, James Bottoms applied for transfer from the airborne Engineers to the Submarine Corps.

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