Monday, Jan. 11, 1943
Lost Cause. In a Chicago court, John P. Roeske, estranged from his wife, failed to win custody of a suit of long winter underwear.
Solution. In Fresno, Calif., Leonard D. Williams, mighty snorer, was discharged from the Army, which had finally given up trying to find him a sleeping-place within bounds and out of earshot.
Where They Came In. In Benton, Ill., two basketball teams played for four minutes, then the lights in the gym went out. With the score 5-5, the teams moved to another gym, played four minutes, gave up when the lights went out with the score at 11-11. In South Bend, Ind., Ruth McGrady slipped, fell, broke her right wrist, stood up, slipped, fell, broke her left one.
The Smell of Things to Come. In Washington, a patent was awarded for a device to isolate and preserve the aroma of coffee.
Overdressed Man. In Knoxville, Tenn., Federal agents took into custody a man wearing a pair of overshoes, a pair of pants, three shirts, a pair of coveralls, two sweaters, four overalls, two overall jackets, five suit coats and one overcoat.
The Heart Is Where the Home Is.
In Brooklyn, Samuel Feldman, 85, and Malka Levinthal, 87, eloped from an old people's home, went back for their honeymoon.
Root of the Family Tree. In Coati-cook, Quebec, death came to 103-year-old Hubert Leclerc, who left 375 children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Foot It Feetly. At California's University of Redlands, Dr. Lawrence E. Nelson predicted that gasoline rationing would create a poetry boom. Reason: poets will do less driving, more creative pacing up & down.
Man of Property. In Santa Fe, Thomas E. Ball reported to police the loss of his wallet, which contained his birth certificate, draft registration card, Social Security card, driver's license, gas ration book, sugar & coffee ration book, and one $2 bill which he carried as a good luck charm.
Nice Try. In Winnipeg, a cigar-chewing young man demanded admission to the Army, smoked & smoked, grew greener & greener, finally admitted his age: 15.
Twerpitude. In Pietermaritzburg, Natal, Thomas Evans and Peter Heary were fined -L-5 & -L-3 for applying to Supreme Court Justice Walter Thrash "a British epithet, untranslatable, but unmistakably offensive." The epithet: "twerp."
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