Monday, Dec. 14, 1942
Solomon Grundy. In Chicago, Brunswick A. Bagdon, lover of rare roast beef, returned from a trip in which he was refused it in Manhattan on meatless Tuesday, in Washington on meatless Wednesday, in Cincinnati on meatless Thursday. At home he ate fish on Friday, looked forward to Saturday.
One Good Turn In Los Angeles, friends of Charley Williams, who had a nosebleed, rushed him to a hospital with a tourniquet tight around his neck to keep him from bleeding to death.
Plethora. In Monroe, La., police got a request from Alexandria to arrest a one-legged autoist. They stopped a car, found four one-legged men in it, held them pending further instructions.
The Mail Must Go Through. In Miami, police jailed Postman Joseph Gagen even after he explained that he was delivering his mail in his bare skin because he had fallen off his bicycle into an anthill and had to abandon his clothes in order to abandon the ants.
Ars Longa. Near Victorville, Calif., a cement truck demolished a sedan, left intact in the wreckage a pamphlet: Accidents Don't Happen.
Uffish Thought. In Chicago, moans from a box startled Mrs. Paul Semrad, a bus passenger, who was reassured by the owner of the box that the captive was only an alligator who hated busses and suffered from gas on the stomach.
Cruel & Unusual. In Kansas City, Officer Tom Coates broke up a crap game in a jail cell full of prisoners who had just been arrested for shooting craps.
Chew-Chew. In Philadelphia, when a test blackout started, the John L. Riccitelli family of eleven were about to sit down to their hamburgers. When the lights went on, the hamburgers were all in Chu-Chu, the family cat.
Squirrel. In Manhattan, Alfred Felardo was arrested for tying nuts and grapes on a little branch, holding it out to squirrels in the park, jerking it away when they jumped for it.
Tit for Rat-a-Tat. In England, a Focke-Wulf dived and gunned a locomotive, whose boiler exploded, bagged the raider.
Take That. At the University of California, the mailing room of the university's publishing house was reconditioned to discourage termites. The termites retaliated by attacking literature stacked there, including a pamphlet entitled: The Control of Termites by the College of Agriculture.
This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.