Kill-Joys. In Washington, OPA decided not to put a ceiling over mistletoe.

Talker. In Marianna, Fla., Mamie Ruth Odum, en route by bus to marry an Air Corps lieutenant in Tampa, met a private who told her: "Give me until tomorrow noon and I'll talk you into marrying me instead." He did.

Perfectionist. In Philadelphia, Chester Zygmond was arrested for firing 35 revolver shots at the walls and ceiling of his bedroom, explained he was rehearsing for a suicide.

Junction. In Memphis, Andrew Jackson Poulton, en route from Farwell, Tex. to visit his brother after a 32-year separation, sat on a park bench, bummed a match from a stranger who turned out to be Thomas Jefferson Poulton, en route from Maydee, Tenn. to visit Brother Andrew in Farwell.

Last Word. In Manhattan, a British tar who had spent part of the night at a bar telling U.S. sailors how much better everything is in Britain, awoke with a hangover and a pain in his chest, found he had been tattooed with the U.S. flag and "God Bless America."

Sweet Sorrow. In South Norwalk, Conn., farewells to soldiers reminded Veteran Benjamin Keeler's friends that they had never given him the farewell dinner they planned in 1917. They mended matters by banqueting him.

Welfare. In Detroit, the city Welfare Department discovered it was- paying the rent for a bawdyhouse -- one of the impoverished beneficiaries of its charity turned out to have been conducting a business on the side.

Campaigner. Near Newport, Wash., Congressional Candidate Joe Albi buttonholed a friendly farmer for his vote. "Be glad to," said the oldtimer, "only I can't vote in Washington. This here's Idaho."

Decision. In jampacked Washington, harried Felix Finzel, a bus driver, pulled up to the curb, put on the emergency brake, got out and quit bus driving forever, leaving a busful of argumentative passengers to their own devices.

Rescue. In Cleveland, Mrs. John Gold scrambled out the window of her apartment's laundry room, summoned police, who freed four other women trapped in the basement by a belligerent rat occupying the doorway.

Solution. In Tulsa, a runaway bakery horse ignored both the frantic tuggings of its driver and a pursuing cop, was brought to a sudden halt by a bystander, who called out: "Whoa."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.