Epithalamium

Love, Klieg-lighted and aromatic, came to television last week. In Los Angeles, over the Don Lee video network, 26-year-old William Vincent Hazen took Marian Padelford, 19, to be his lawful wedded wife. A dental technician, Bridegroom Hazen planned to celebrate his marriage vows with a script of his own devising. It included such dialogue as "My future plans are of educating the public in the immense perennial humanitarian program that the dental profession has mapped out for those who will but come to its portals. All of which bounteously builds up to better dentistry for better living. Marian, I've loved you from the day I first met you. Will you share it with me?"

Unfortunately, for dentistry, the bride got pretty sore at this toothy folderol during rehearsal, accused her beloved of being more eager to advertise his wares than her charms. At that point the groom slapped the bride. The bride retaliated in kind, and also refused to go through with the nuptials until all references to dentures were eliminated from the ceremony. Eventually she had her way. The course of television love met further obstacles. Before the bride arrived at the studio altar, in came Fan Dancer Faith Bacon. Clad in a brassiere and a G-string, with feathers in her hair and on her heels, Miss Bacon insisted, wedding or no wedding, that she was going to do her uninhibited stuff before the television camera. In honor of the occasion, Miss Bacon offered to put on a fur neckpiece, was enraged when Don Lee officials rejected her compromise.

Throughout the historic ceremony, Miss Padelford, wearing traditional white dress and veil and carrying a bouquet of heat-stricken gardenias, chewed quietly upon a wad of gum, as did her three bridesmaids. Constantly eased out of camera range by Bridegroom Hazen, Miss Padelford was only occasionally visible on the television screen. Municipal Judge Joseph Marchetti, who performed the ceremony, was inundated with confetti (rice will not televise) by a prop man with deplorable aim. After the service, while the organ moaned through Lohengrin, relatives of the bride and groom made a mad rush to congratulate the newlyweds.

Also in the rush was a worried representative of the Los Angeles department store which had costumed the bride and bridesmaids. Briskly he whirled the participants away before the gowns could be damaged by enthusiastic friends.

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