Taleteller

Rochester, Wash. (pop. 300) is a flag stop 60 miles from Tacoma. Rochester is also the home town and laughingstock in trade of Dave James, 30-year-old Tacoma News-Tribune humorist, whose sly exaggerations are as American as roasting ears, would have tickled Artemus Ward, Mark Twain or Will Rogers.

A country correspondent for a string of six Northwest papers, James once did a piece about Carroll Kjellman, Rochester citizen who said he had seen a robin tugging at a worm in the ground. The worm stretched until it snapped out of the earth, knocked the robin cold. Wrote Dave James: "Faced by a committee of angleworm lovers, Carroll Kjellman ... admitted he planted strips of rubber in the soil. . . . 'I'm sorry I caused the robin to be knocked out . . .' Kjellman said."

Editors asked for more. Dave invented Rochester's Mayor Walter Tripp (in real life proprietor of the Jiffy Lunch), had him announce a Reduced Production County Fair, dedicated to New Deal crop control. Prizes were offered for the scrawniest pig, puniest pumpkin, cow yielding the least milk, the most sterile quart of soil. A special prize awaited the farmer entering fewest exhibits. Appreciative, Associated Press sent the tale over its wires. From all over the U. S. letters poured in.

A carnival company asked for the merry-go-round concession.

On the day the fair opened, Dave quoted Mayor Tripp's report:

"The wheat wouldn't grow, and won a prize. The hen wouldn't lay, so she won. A dog wouldn't pay any attention to anybody, so he got a prize."

Straining Annie was Mayor Tripp's hen. She laid no eggs for 364 days, nearly set a record. But with one more day to go, Straining Annie produced a canary-sized pellet, was retired to the dinner table, to see how far she would go there. After a flood, Mayor Tripp found a school of young salmon stranded in a haystack. They were perfectly happy because they had never known any other life.

The mayor forgot to file his candidacy for re-election until just before Rochester's primary, found he had five competitors. Although press wires were jammed with primary campaign news, the A. P. queried Dave: PLEASE GIVE us OUTCOME IN FINALS. While Mayor Tripp was counting votes the Jiffy Lunch's door opened, a gust of wind carried away the ballots.

Meanwhile Dave progressed to $25 a week as editor and business manager of the Shelton Independent. One day the Tacoma News-Tribune phoned, asked how he would like to go to work there. Stunned, Dave James managed to gulp: "Yes." News-Tribune condition: Dave must write at least one Rochester tale a week.

Mayor Walter Tripp's brother has succeeded him in office. Present Mayor Hugh ("Hercules") Tripp runs the Corner Drug Store, suggests that Rochester would make a fine mountain resort if Ickes will build a mountain. Mayor Hercules wrote President Roosevelt, asking a PWA grant to rebuild Rochester's abandoned depot. Last week he nursed a skinned elbow from reaching deep into his mailbox each morning for Roosevelt's answer. "So far I've found nothing in the box but a new bird's nest," said Tripp. "I say . . . it's an honor to be ignored by the President."

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