Monday, Aug. 30, 1937

Tuffy

In Evanston, Ill., Mr. & Mrs. Robert Matthews arrived to visit Mr. & Mrs. Arthur L. Michel. With them they brought their pet lion, King Tuffy. During business hours King Tuffy walks a tightrope. Mr. Matthews stowed King Tuffy in the back yard, but early one morning Tuffy became disquieted and started to roar. Disquieted neighbors, too, started to roar--among them Alderman Hugo Pape. Rhetorically asked he: "What is this, Africa?" Alderman Pape summoned the police, who inspected Tuffy, but decided they had no jurisdiction over lions.

The Evanston City Council concluded that it did not have any jurisdiction over lions, either. Then Alderman Eddy S. Brandt, of the Sixth Ward, rose and made a motion that "lions and tigers and other wild animals" be kept to the west of Evanston. Mayor Henry D. Penfield added: "I now move that the reference include the Evanston Lion's Club." The Council shouted approval, but the motion, as amended, was hastily shuttled off to the judiciary committee, leaving King Tuffy still in Evanston.

Chicken

In Manhattan, one Max Berger, 70, stepped into an East Side subway at 125th St. carrying under his arm a live chicken. Intended for his dinner, it had been presented to him by his sweetheart. Forthright little Mr. Berger plumped himself down into a seat and began to pluck feathers from the chicken's hind quarters, reciting, presumably: "She loves me, she loves me not," to the accompaniment of horrified squawks from the chicken. Presently a Brooklyn passenger named Kay Nelson protested to Mr. Berger. Mr. Berger reassured Mr. Nelson. Said he, "I am only taking off the feathers because I am going to eat this chicken when I get home. I was once a barber and an expert hairdresser and I know all about things like this. It is not hurting the little chicken." Looking skeptically at the little chicken's nude fundament, Mr. Nelson was not so sure. He began to fight with Mr. Berger. At 42nd St. they were pried apart, taken to a nearby station house. Mr. Nelson promptly charged Mr. Berger with cruelty to animals. A policeman took the little chicken into the next room, knocked it on the head, stuffed it into an envelope, marked it "Exhibit A." Mr. Berger was detained pending the convening of night court. That night Mr. Nelson did not appear to press his charges so Mr. Berger was turned loose. He said that he was now going home to cook his dinner. Would somebody please return his little chicken? The magistrate said he was very sorry but somehow the little chicken had vanished.

Pickets

In Belleville, Ont., prankish striking pickets at the Stetson Hat Works forced watchful police to stand at rigid attention for 20 minutes at a stretch by playing God Save the King on harmonicas.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.