Congregation

In Washington, D. C.'s Calvary Methodist Episcopal Church, Rev. James Shera Montgomery, Chaplain of the House of Representatives, told a full Easter congregation: "I know some of you won't be back until next Easter, so let me wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

Water

In Salem, Ohio, the fire department threw so much water on a fire in the upper stories of a house that it drowned 2-year-old Jane Elizabeth Woods cowering in the basement.

Dust

Near Garden City, Kans., as the Midwest's dust storm silted over her house and her husband's 300-acre wheat farm, Mrs. James Leon Vance recalled the dozen goldfish she kept out in the watering trough. When she went to look at them, she found that dust had made a mud cake of the trough, buried the goldfish.

Hand

Beneath Manhattan's East River, Diver John Forward was groping over the hulk of the S. S. Lexington which sank last January (TIME, Jan. 14) when a human hand languidly slapped him across the face of his helmet. It was the hand of a man whose feet had been caught under a packing case. The hand continued to slap Diver Forward until he had worked the body loose, sent it to the surface.

Junk

In East Boston, a junk peddler pulled his wagon away himself when his horse dropped dead on the street. Seven hours later he went back with hammer and chisel, knocked off the dead horse's shoes, took them home. Police removed the horse.

Men

In St. Louis, Mrs. Nellie B. Stull, marriage broker, founder of the Widow & Widower's Club of America, complaining that business is bad, said: "A man admires the woman who makes him think but he keeps away from her. He likes the woman who makes him laugh. He loves the girl who hurts him. But he marries the woman who flatters him. It was always competition more than love that got men into matrimony. Now with so many women hanging around, flattering them, there isn't any more competition."

Chicken

In Omaha, Neb., suing for divorce, Mrs. Viola Beck testified that her husband knocked her out by hitting her on the head with a live chicken. When he found that the impact had killed the chicken, he revived Mrs. Beck and ordered her to cook it. She refused.

Stories

In Chicago, at the annual meeting of the Izaak Walton League, the liars' division competed along the usual lines for the prize (a key to a sardine can) for telling the tallest fish story. In Los Angeles, Engineer L. M. Crow went up to the roof of a 14-story downtown skyscraper to empty and clean the water tank. He opened the outlet valve and out flopped a six-inch striped, small-mouthed bass.

100th

In Budapest, police rescued starving Caroline Munkacsi from her 100th suicide attempt. Although the latest was by drowning, she generally favors gas.

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