Monday, Oct. 30, 1933

Sporoblast

In August 1933, Earl Ellicott Dudding, ex-convict of Huntington, W. Va., issued cards inscribed as follows:

PRENATAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Dr. & Mrs. Earl Ellicott Dudding announce that on Oct. 16 Miss Chemical Dudding will arrive and will be the world's most scientific baby. The object sought is to produce a child free from criminal traits. Dr. Dudding is president of the Prisoners Relief Society. The fetation was made by injecting the sporoblast into the blood stream with a hypodermic needle. We expect a substantial gift. Gifts should be mailed to Miss Chemical Dudding, Post Box 462, Huntington, W. Va.

Earl Ellicott Dudding explained that the "sporoblast" was a serum concocted from the leaves and sap of a cherry tree. He announced that he would start a chemical baby farm after Miss Chemical Dudding was born. Said he : "If I gave out the formula, half of the doctors in the country would start bootlegging chemical babies. They would use this as a money-making scheme, and I will not stand for that. I have developed this system after many years' research in an effort to pro duce a new race, free from sin and crime, and I do not intend to have it commercialized."

Last week Earl Ellicott Dudding issued the following statement: "I have been making soundings and measurements with calipers, and find an error of 30 days in my calculations, and so our daughter will arrive Nov. 15."

Fatty

In Manhattan, Mary Jane Dane, 17 and 200 lb., killed herself because her schoolmates called her "Fatty."

Worry

In Jacksonville, Fla. "Aunt Mamie" Williams, Negress, complained that worry over her noisy neighbors caused her weight to shrink from 798 lb. to 598 lb.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.