Guelph

In Los Angeles, three physicians certified as dead last week John Guelph, 71, who claimed to be "the legitimate eldest son of King Edward VII." "Nonsense" scoffed the Widow Gueiph, "John's not dead--I don't care what the doctors say! He's been in this same condition five times before--four times in India and once here in California. He'll revive in a few days."

Expert In Hammond, Ind., presenting a melodrama from radio station WAE, Roland G. Palmer, sound expert, made noises like galloping horses, howling wind, pattering rain. When the script called for a pistol shot, Sound Man Palmer picked up a pistol, shot off two of his fingers.

Ornament

In Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, a dynamite cap which Rosette La Haye, 19, had used as an ornament on the tip of her pencil for a year, exploded, blew off three of her fingers, injured her eye.

Tub

In Chicago, Mrs. Adele Jackson, 72, filled her bathtub with kerosene, jumpd in, struck a match, burned to death.

Tail

In Manhattan, near the Central Park Zoo, another hobo suggested to Ludwig Metterer that they "go over to the elephant house and have some fun." They yanked Elephant Chang's tail. Elephant Chang trumpeted loudly. Arrested for disorderly conduct, Ludwig Metterer denied the charge, said his companion (who escaped) had offered to teach him how to pull elephant's tails.

Kick

In Rochester, N. Y., as Mrs. Louise Florack entered his store, Storekeeper Arthur Stein ran out chasing a dog. Storekeeper Stein kicked at the dog, missed, caught Mrs. Louise Florack in the ankle. A jury awarded Mrs. Louise Florack $1,000, her husband $750 for medical expenses and loss of his wife's services.

Beaker

In Liverpool, lecturing on chemistry, Professor James Foote grew thirsty, downed the contents of a beaker which he thought was full of water, died in agony before the horrified eyes of his class.

Babe

In Kansas City, Mr. & Mrs. William St. John had a son "the world's smallest baby"--1 lb., 14 in. Otherwise normal, the baby was nested among hot water bottles in a cardboard box, fed with a medicine dropper. Three six-foot uncles grinned. The Press, attempting to promote a competition, found a 1.19-lb. baby in Berlin, a 3-lb. baby, two months old, in Boone, N. C.

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