Mrs. Belmont's Miss Guinan

Blatant, big-hearted Mary Louise Cecilia ("Texas") Guinan and her blonde gang of greenback gatherers, well beloved in Manhattan, approached France on the French Liner Paris last week. Abruptly they were "barred from French soil," first kept aboard the Paris at Havre, then herded into a detention house half full of Polish immigrants and "legally outside of France." The Ministry of Interior, citing unemployment among French night club artistes, refused to admit competitive La Guinan et sa gang.*

Fortnight ago, Manhattan's willowy, socialite Mrs. Morgan Belmont headed "through the courtesy of the French Line" a list of patronesses who sponsored a farewell party for Guinan & Gang in Manhattan aboard the S. S. Paris./- This was the first, the only Guinan party at which there were no "suckers." No guest paid a cent. Guinan & Gang furnished mirth, French Line chefs a buffet supper. Curfew was at 2 a. m., earliest ever for a Guinan party. The Belmontized farewell had the effect of toning-up Guinan & Gang, but aboard the Paris her kids did a dance ("charity concert") in which each carried two fans. To the eyes of three clergymen passengers, who protested (afterward), it seemed that the fans were the kids' only clothing, that certain fans "accidentally" closed during the dance. When the Paris touched at Plymouth, agents of Scotland Yard said that Miss Guinan (her parents were British) had been put on the list of "undesirable aliens" barred from Britain.

In a large & worldly woman, termed "une grosse jemme," the average Frenchman sees small merit. In a small & worldly woman, "tine petite fille," he sees great merit. Fortnight ago French Justice was generous to small Mrs. Charlotte Nixon-Nirdlinger ("Miss St. Louis 1923"). She was acquitted at Nice of murdering her U. S. husband, after confessing that she shot him at the black end of a jealous quarrel (TIME, June 1, et ante). Last week large Texas Guinan got no French generosity whatever, was held at Havre in a room with barred windows, having as furniture three iron beds and one spittoon.

The window had no light-tight curtain. In the U. S. Miss Guinan "cannot sleep" unless her bedroom window is hung with blankets or the glass painted black. At inflexible agents of the Surete Generale (Secret Service) la grosse jemme hurled piercing shrieks--in vain.

Not so les petites filles, the Guinan gang! They were nice to M. Epstein. He was nice to them. He let "these young goats" out of their pen to frisk in Havre. They browsed at good road restaurants, brought home tasty food to Tex. Within 48 hours les petites filles had M. Epstein so well in hand that he let Miss Guinan lunch (once) at Havre's Frascati's. Vive la petite fille--then bang! From Paris the Director General of the Surete Generale, M. Maurier, telegraphed that nobody was to be let out of the pen. M. Epstein, Miss Guinan & kids were undone. Kid Anne Boleyn started general hysterics by screaming: "We'll never get to Paris! I want to go home!"

Amid her sobbing troupe Texas Guinan stood firm. "In the words of Calvin Coolidge, I do not choose to run!" she wisecracked.

"She'll get us to Paris yet," cried a couple of kids, dabbing their eyes. "It wouldn't be so bad except for those damn bells! They ring in our rooms all the time. We're supposed to get up for breakfast at 7 :30! But Tex will get us to Paris yet."

This was still possible. Premier Pierre Laval of France had consented (in his lesser role of Minister of Interior) to review the case. Before him lay urgent cablegrams from American Legion officials, pleading for Tex, recalling that la grosse jemme did her best in France during the war to cheer up U. S. soldiers. Puzzled Premier Laval scratched his chin.

* Delightedly French papers used this idiom last week, but misunderstood Miss Guinan's incessant references to her showgirls as "'kids." Instead of calling them "les kids," Paris translated into the French idiom for "young goats" (les chevreaux).

/- Mrs. Belmont has also endorsed Pond's cold cream, Simmons beds.

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