"Names make news." Last week the following names made the following news:

Singer Clara Clemens, wife of Pianist-Conductor Ossip Gabrilowitsch of the Detroit Symphony Orchestra and only one of Samuel Langhorne (Mark Twain) Clemens' four daughters to survive him, now a lecturer and writer (My Father*) on her father's life, revealed that when she faces a public from the platform, she imagines herself to be an alligator because the alligator basking in the sun is her idea of imperviousness to environment personified. "And not only alligators! If you want to be soft, think of yourself as a rose. If you want to be hard, unchanging, think of a sphinx. . . . If you thought of yourself as a thin person and lived as a thin person, I really think you would end by being thin."

Sculptor Frederick William Mac-Monnies spread out his hands before an interviewer and cried : "Penguins! There's no help for it ! If you want the truth and dare to print it, that's the answer. . . . The barrel shape of the bird's body is reproduced exactly in the barrel shape of the woman of today who neither exercises physically nor exercises the least self-restraint upon her appetite. . . . Have you ever noticed the silly, self-satisfied expression of the penguin? It is almost a leer. That is the crowning point of resemblance. ... I have been speaking of . . . the woman over 25, the breeder of the race. My indictment is against the vast American woman. . . . The young girl is different, with this boyish form in which I find great charm."

Influenza (see p. 26) seized many a notable, including: Mme Ernestine Schumann-Heink; Prohibition Director Amos Walter Wright Woodcock; Prisoner, onetime Queens Borough President Maurice Connolly; Wickersham Commissioner and Radcliffe College President Ada Louise Comstock; Utah's Senator Reed Smoot.

Persons requiring hospital treatment included: Jack Dempsey, for infected hand; Author Gouverneur Morris, for burns incurred when he got out of his automobile to see why it would not run, dropped a spark from his cigaret into the gasoline tank; onetime American Baseball League President Ban Johnson, for a serious infection of his right little toe which was trampled in a crowd.

Princess Beatrice, 73, aunt of King George V and mother of Queen Victoria Eugenie of Spain, fell down in Kensington Palace and broke her arm.

A streetcar and the automobile of Mrs. Woodrow Wilson crashed together in Washington. Mrs. Wilson was reported "shaken, but uninjured."

Mrs. Edith Roosevelt, next eldest (70) of the nation's seven living Presidents' wives,* had just settled down with a book by a blazing hearth in the Roosevelt mansion "Sagamore Hill" (Oyster Bay, L. I.) when a servant rushed in to say that the roof of the trophy room, in which are stored the products of the President's famed hunting trips, was afire. Mrs. Roosevelt calmly summoned the Oyster Bay Fire Department, watched the men extinguish the blaze, ordered coffee & cakes.

To establish a fishing club in Honda Bay on the Island of Talon (250 mi. southwest of Panama City) a group of sportsmen met in Manhattan, among them William B. Leeds, Kermit Roosevelt, Adman Charles Presbrey.

A Los Angeles jury of seven men and five women filed into the courtroom where Daisy de Boe, until lately secretary to itty Cinemactress Clara Bow, had been tried on 35 larceny charges made by her onetime employer. They pronounced Miss de Boe GUILTY on count No. 7 only--she had taken an $825 income-tax payment check signed by Miss Bow and bought herself a fur coat with it--and they recommended leniency.

At Manhattan's Beaux Arts Ball last year, a happy, muscular guest stopped a reddish-haired young man in one of the corridors and inquired: "Are you Rudy Vallee?"

"Yes," said the redhead.

"That's all I wanted to know," said the happy guest, and deliberately punched the red-head's jaw.

Last week, day before the anniversary of the above, Rudy Vallee was crooning "Give Me Something to Remember You By" in a Boston theatre. Balcony rowdies gave him bad grapefruit, fast eggs.

*To be published shortly by Harper & Bros. Of the three daughters who attained girlhood talented Susan (Susy) was perhaps until her early death Clemens' favorite; ailing Jean was closest to him by acting as his secretary; Clara was his friend, adviser and soother (with her fine voice she tearfully sang "Flow Gently, Sweet Afton'' to him on his deathbed).

*Mrs. Harrison is 72, Mrs. Taft 69, Mrs. Preston (Cleveland) 66, Mrs. Wilson 59, Mrs. Hoover 56, Mrs. Coolidge 52.

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