Greeting

In Greensburg, Pa., new convicts at Westmoreland County jail were presented by the warden with a "greetings" folder such as hotels hand their guests. Excerpts : "My friend, for a little while you and I are compelled to live under the same roof, and, in a way, to be in each other's company. You come without invitation from me. Probably you had no intention that we should meet in this way. Probably you have made a mistake, perhaps done wrong. I have done both. Let us both, the little while we are together, try to do as we would be done by. Should we both do this I am sure we can part with respect for each other. My earnest wish is that I may be a better man for having known you and you may be none the worse for having known me." On the reverse side was a list of nearby lawyers.

Crack

In Sand Lick, Ky., one Henry Harp worked on the roads. Lightning cracked, knocked Mr. Harp down, split his false teeth.

Judges

In Brooklyn one Anthony Bridetyeski was hailed to court by his wife, Lydia, at whom he had flung shoes. The judge asked her to sentence her husband. "He's a dirty brute," said Lydia. "Give him thirty days in the workhouse." After Anthony had been sentenced, came Pat Quigley and wife, Nellie, who had been punched and kicked. Also given jurisprudence, she said: "Give him the same dose as the other fellow."

Murder

Near Tuckahoe, N. J., Johnny di Rocco, 13, hunting with some friends in a cedar swamp, sighted a low-flying hawk, raised his gun, fired. Over the tops of some corn stalks they saw a man topple, fall. Breathlessly they waited for a sign from the cornfield. Johnny, panic-stricken, threw down his rifle and plunged into a wood. With solemn faces the other boys went back to town. Not until midnight did they gather up enough courage to tell about the murder. Immediately Mrs. di Rocco with a posse of policemen set out to find her boy. All night they trampled the marshes and woods while up in a tree crouched Johnny. In the morning he came down to face his fate. The searchers had found a scarcecrow, its sawdust head pierced by a bullet, prostrate in the corn.

Bulletin

Near Scandia, Kan., a church bulletin announced: "The women of this church have cast off clothing of all kinds. Look them over in the church basement any time this week."

Ride In Philadelphia one Frank Cannon spied a trolley car standing outside a restaurant in which its motorman was supping. He hopped aboard, clanged away at full speed. When arrested several suburbs away he was not perturbed, but said he had gratified a suppressed desire.

Teeth

In Denver one John Stoltz, 67, chose to wash his false teeth at a public drinking fountain. One James D. De Losier, 66, angrily observed him, knocked him down, killed him.

Dentist In Astillero, Spain, a laborer suffering from toothache, shot out the tooth and part of his face with a pistol, said he was relieved.

Cat In Boston, Mass., a cat named Sarah, mother of 72, felt ill. After three days' agony she leaped to a store counter, wound a string around her paws and a decayed tooth, yanked out the tooth, felt better.

Chortle

In Guider Park, Brooklyn, one Matteo Aurierno, 26, was found wandering in the dark, bleeding from deep stabs in his neck and hands. At the police station he related that, while strolling, he was thrown down and slashed by a "personable" woman who then fled, chortling.

Laugh

In a Fitchburg, Mass., cinema house, James Raymond laughed so hard at a comedy that he swallowed his false teeth, fell down stairs. Someone shouted "Fire!" Soon an ambulance and fire engines arrived.